Tag Archives: Work

A case of impostor syndrome

impostor syndrome

Source

These last couple of months I have been having a serious case of impostor syndrome. It refers to high-achieving individuals marked by an inability to internalise their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud” (source).  This is exactly how I’ve been feeling, although I don’t necessarily put myself in the same boat as the people I consider to be ‘high-achieving’, but rather as someone who is driven to do the best I can in any situation.

Since moving jobs within my organisation it’s been a great step up in work and responsibility. At the same time I keep having this sense that I could be doing more or better and that some day someone is going to call me out on this. I have no evidence for this though. I’ve been getting great feedback on all the work I’m doing from those people I now work with and my old team who see me around.

It is a weird sensation to feel this way. I keep looking for evidence to prove it correct, rather than believe the evidence that says it is false. This is something I know stems from depression ways of thinking. I talked about this when I was doing CBT therapy. I even did an experiment to look at this way of thinking. It all comes back to the simple thought of ‘Im not good enough’ . It’s made me realise I need to take time to tackle this and not ignore it because I’m busy. These are very destructive thoughts and unhelpful to life I want to live.

I’ve been reading up on the subject and taking inspiration from famous women who have spoken out on the topic, such as Emma Watson. It’s important to speak out on the subject as others can take heart they are not alone. This has led me to look more at the topics of feminism and body positivity. It’s opening a whole new world to me and inspiring me to think differently about myself and how I let other people treat me and make me feel. It’s quite freeing. I’m going to continue to look at these topics and find inspiration in new areas, rather than focus on diet and fitness.

Recent Wanderings – December 15 Edition

I had lots of plan for exploring in December, but getting a cold and ear infection scuppered that, but taking me out for the last two week of the month. I missed the lake swims I had planned and also some time exploring locally. But I did what I could and had fun doing it.

Cardiff

At the beginning of the month I went to Cardiff to meet up with my friends for afternoon tea and do as much present shopping as I could. I love Cardiff and do miss living there, but it was nice to visit.

 

Christmas Dos

Many evenings in December were taken up by making the most of festivities and catching up with as many people as possible over the weeks before Christmas. This year felt extra busy as I changed jobs not long ago so was included in two work team get togethers. It was all good fun, but I did eat way too much in the run up to Christmas.

  • Original work team
  • New work team
  • Work bookclub
  • Swimming Club
  • Running Club
  • Friends catch up

Cinema Trips

I’ve been trying to make the most of my cinema card too and this month saw four films. I enjoyed all of them. I missed a couple I wanted to see, like Black Mass, but went as many time as I could.

  • The Lady in the Van
  • Bridge of Spies
  • Christmas with the Coopers
  • Star Wars

I’ve made a lot of plans already for the coming year and feel more organised for doing these posts that I have before. It is nice to remind myself of what I’ve been up to and think about other places I want to explore.

Wandering around Lanhydrock

Another day and another trip with my work to a beautiful location. This time it was Lanhydrock for a bit of cycling and workshop leading!

                  

I didn’t get to go and see the house, but I am returning next month for another workshop so plan on making some time then to explore the house and parkland.

Wandering around Avebury Solstice

As part of my work I get to take part in volunteer days and some of the best opportunities are around the solstice. Last year I went to Stonehenge with my manager and this year a small group of us went to Avebury for the shortest night. I chose Avebury as it is much closer than Stonehenge, which was needed as I was on my course both sides of my shift.

We got there around 5:30pm for our 6:30pm to 11:30pm shift. It was a lovely evening and lots of people were there for a nice time. We wandered the main stone area in pairs armed with a radio and litter picker and were basiclaly on hand to help with any queries and put a stop to BBQs, fires, and camping within out quadrant.

                  

It was good fun, even if it was a little scary when having to approach fire dancers and ask them to spin out their flames. We only had one group where the police had to get involved, which was a shame, but all part of the night. The Kings Drums came on as the sun set and played for a while. Once it got dark the mood definitely shifted slightly to being a bit more scary as people were more intoxicated and confident. I was happy to be leaving at midnight I can tell you!

Wandering around Runnymede Magna Carta 800th Volunteering

Today I had the privilege to got to Runnymede and volunteer at the 800th Anniversary event for the sealing of the Magna Carta.

I was up at 4am to get to Windsor Racecouse for 5:45am to catch the volunteer bus to Runnymede. 

We got to the site just after 6am for the briefing and kit out, before heading to the arena for 7am. We had to get wristbands to do this that confirmed we had been security checked by the police as many important people were attending.  

Inside the area I was an usher, which meant helping people to their seats and making sure any questions were answered.   

It soon filled up in anticipation of the arriving VIPs and by 9am it was a completely different place to be.  

I got see the new art piece that was commissioned for the vent called The Jurors – 12 chairs depicting different images and stories.

Then Prince William arrived.

I got quite a good view of the arrival.

Then a better view as he met performers.

Next the Queen and the other extra important VIPS arrived.

I then had the job of getting the VIPs who were to meet the Prime Minister into position.

I also got to see the Princess Royal (Princess Anne)

Once all the royals left Prince Anne re-dedicated the American Bar Association Memorial with the Antorney General, Loretta Lynch.

Then everyone had a picnic lunch and we watched the fly pass.

Once we had finished our duties we got to wander the arena and the site a little more and I got a closer look at the art commission and picked out a few of the decorations on the chairs I liked the best.

I also went to see the boat not eh river while I waited for the bus to return us all to our cars after a fantastic day.  

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...