This book may change my life – extreme I know, but I love its simplicity!
Before reading this book I wouldn’t have included any swearing in my blog, but I’m making an exception for this post and maybe every other post from now on!
“Saying Fuck It is like sticking two fingers up to the world of meaning, convention, authority, system, uniformity and order”
I never rebel. I play it safe in pretty much all aspects of my life and I think that is part of my problem. I rarely swear, I rarely get drunk, I rarely take unplanned risks. The only way I rebelled as a kid was with food. I’ve been doing some digging into my past and am realising a lot of the things I was taught I no longer agree with, but as I’m living at home I am finding impossible to break away and create my own beliefs. My issues with food definitely stem from my parents issues with food. I’m not looking to blame, but rather understand. I’m not going to go into detail about this here, but it helps explain why this book resonates with me.
Saying Fuck It is very rebellious for me.
“When the things that we thought mattered to us start to give us pain, we can get to the point where we say Fuck It. This is when we stop doing them and do something more fun instead.”
I think I have made so many things matter that now they are all giving me pain so my near future is going to be about letting things go and making sure the things that I want to matter have sound reasons for it.
“In fact, we say Fuck It whenever we give up anything that is causing us some pain. We may say Fuck It and give up being someone we don’t want to be. We may say Fuck It and simply give up caring about something we thought we should care about.”
The book goes through 5 techniques which are very similar to other books on CBT and self-esteem:
- Let Go
- Watch Impartially
- Conscious Breathing
I have been writing these on my wrist so they are visible all the time and it helps. Also incorporating saying Fuck It in these techniques helps. I don’t know how, but again it’s something to do with rebelling.
The book then goes through quite a few real life examples – the first one being food!
“Fuck It is about accepting things just as they are. So what would it feel like to start accepting how you are around food?”
“Say Fuck It and either eat it and accept that or don’t eat it and just get on with life. But don’t make it such a big thing. Stop making food such a big thing.”
I think the second point is the most important and I wish I could get other people to join me in this. Food is great, but everyone and everywhere makes such a big deal about what we should and shouldn’t be eating. I want to be healthy and live a long, active life, but having a slip is not going to end the world!
Another section was focused on money and that resonated with me too.
“You are simply in a constant process of exchange for value with the world.”
“What tends to happen is that the more you value yourself, the more the rest of the world will tend to agree and value you as well.”
I like these points. By simplifying things we take away the meaning we have attached to it. Yes I have to work as I want to pay for my house and to do the things I love doing outside of work. Working is the exchange I make with the world to be able to do the things I love. I may not enjoy it, but that doesn’t stop me being able to do the things I enjoy and doesn’t stop me looking for the next opportunity to find a job I might enjoy. I value myself enough to go to work and earn the money to be able to give myself the things I want to live the life I want outside.
There are even more sections in the book and I plan to look back at other sections as and when I need to. But I’m starting by adding Fuck It to my vocabulary – probably not out loud right away, but definitely when thoughts stress me out I’ll say Fuck It to them and watch them drift away. Thoughts aren’t facts!
“Fuck It is a most profane way of saying the most profound thing: that when we relax and give in to the simple flow of life, we will experience the ultimate freedom.”
All I can say is read this book!
On a side they also do retreats in Italy and I am so tempted to go on one next year