I hate what I am doing to my body at the moment. I am trying not to hate my body, but rather what the behaviours that are creating the body I currently feel so uncomfortable in.
My body has done nothing but good for me in the last few months. It has seen me through two triathlons and allowed my mind to gain strength.
However my behaviours and decisions have led to me putting on weight and being back to where I was at the start of the year. Six months into Project Lifestyle and I am making no progress on this area of my life.
That does not rule out the other areas where I have made fantastic progress and overall I feel happy with where my life is right now and I’m also content to see where it goes over the next year.
But I am truly uncomfortable in my body. This photo from the weekend made me realise I look as uncomfortable as I feel. This takes me back to a time when I was very unhappy in my life and I don’t want to go back there.
With the temperature of the UK being lovely and warm I should be outside making the most of it and I am, but I am also hot and bothered most of the time. I am sweating and overheating doing the most basic of things. My clothes feel tight and uncomfortable and my hair feels too long and thick, so I am always wearing it up at the moment. I waste money on food I don’t need and stress about the things I need when the month end comes round. I eat to stifle my emotions and it hurts my body as well as my mind.
I feel like I am constantly repeating myself and not making progress or keeping my word. I feel I am letting myself down. For me it is all about creating consistency. I am not making any radical changes to my diet. I am not cutting anything out or really adding anything in, unless I want to. I am just trying to not overeat and do that consistently.
I have 6 months until my 30th birthday and the end of Project Lifestyle. I know I can make fantastic changes in that amount of time, because I have done in the first 6 months of the project. I need to make sure I keep up those changes I’ve made and work on my behaviours to make other good changes that will help my body. I’ve bought the app Streaks to help me form the habits I want to in terms of consistency.