Tag Archives: Life

A Whole Week

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I can’t believe I’ve been a house owner for a whole week!

I feel great, but also completely disorganised, which is stressing me out and making me anxious!

Ice only unpacked the essentials and my second bedroom is just full of stuff. My sofa and bedroom furniture is being delivered tomorrow. I hope once that is in and built I’ll be able to unpack properly and feel better. Plus not so many people will be dropping round to help with things and I will start to relax.

I suppose I just feel out of sorts. Starting a new job and moving house has tired me out so much! I cannot wait until next weekend when I’ll have the whole time to myself and even if I haven’t unpacked everything I am spending the whole weekend doing nothing! I can’t wait :)

I think it will take me a while to settle in and feel relaxed. I wake up at every sound at the moment, but I’m hoping that will pass in time. I’m back in therapy doing some intensive CBT and I think it’s worked out well timing wise. I can talk about the things that stress me and make me anxious (which is quite a lot right now!) and am working on the tools I can use (rather than food) to cope. It’s hard, but I know in the long term I am doing the right thing to get well.

I am happy I’ve made this decision to get my own sanctuary that is what it is to me, a sanctuary. It is so nice to go home to my own peaceful place :)

All Moved In!

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I’ve finally gotten all my stuff over to my house! Okay my bike is still at my parents, but that has to wait until I’ve sorted out my storage room :)
It’s weird to be staying at my own house. I keep checking I’ve locked the front door and garage. I keep looking out the window to see what’s going on outside. I wonder what every sound is. But I have slept okay, which is good :)

So far I’ve unpacked the essentials, and my second bedroom is full of unpacked stuff!

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My bookcase is finally in place!
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My kitchen has a fridge freezer and dishwasher :)
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My mattress is on the floor and is still really comfortable!
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The bathroom is getting there!
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I would not be surprised if it takes me ages to unpack and sort out everything. My plan is to get rid of anything that doesn’t have a space. I think I’ve been in denial that I’m a hoarder! I have so much stuff!

I’m feeling really good overall though. I’m more than happy now I’m in to sort it all out at my own pace. I feel relaxed as I can be me fully in my own home :)

Got The Keys

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I am officially a home owner!

It’s been a crazy week. Last week I thought it would be March before I would be able to say the above, but then they bought it forward!

So far I’ve moved my kitchen in, as all that stuff has somewhere to go.

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The carpets aren’t going in until Tuesday. Then the big appliances are being delivered Thursday. So I’ll be moving in properly next weekend and I can’t wait!

It’s been nice not to rush. It’s been great and exciting, but also a bit overwhelming. With all the changes I’ve made this year already it’s feeling overwhelming. I’m good though, but trying to keep calm and slow down and not try to do too much.

Exercise lasts week was good, but the week ahead will be all about moving. I am doing the local swimming gala next Saturday though, but otherwise I’ve given myself permission to miss a week of normal routine in order to focus on my house.

I also started my intense CBT last week. It’s going to be hard work, but I think it’s come at the right time. The novelty is wearing off the new job and I’m going to be living on my own. It’s a good time to make sure I don’t let things slip.

So I’m going to be busy the next couple of weeks but ill be making time to blog my house, books and coffee adventures :)

Things I’m Loving… 29 by 29 Update

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I wanted to do an update on how I’m getting on with my 29 by 29 list this week

  1. Move into my own place - Set to complete this month!
  2. Adopt a cat
  3. Do a Super Sprint Triathlon - 400m swim, 20km bike, 2.5km run - Signing up to a couple of events with friends so this might change!
  4. Take part in running club events and volunteer to help when I can’t take part
  5. Do the Parkrun once a month and volunteer as a marshall - January done!
  6. Bake more bread
  7. Complete the CBT Journal for Dummies - Working my way through this!
  8. Read more classic books as part of my 2013 reading challenge - This might change to audio books, as I haven’t ‘read’ a book all month!
  9. Stick to my budget and save for holidays and house things - this is going okay, just need to spread spending out through month!
  10. Take a bike maintenance course
  11. Join a WW meeting and work towards goal - this might change to focus on using MFP
  12. Blog – maybe a redesign ;)  - This was forced when Wordpress was updated!
  13. Plan budget friendly trips
  14. Try acupuncture
  15. Keep working to create and maintain good mental health - My referral for intensive CBT came through in January!
  16. Join a coffee club
  17. Take part in the Masters galas and club championships - First one next week!
  18. Work out savings plan for trip to Japan
  19. Catch up on Greys Anatomy
  20. Get regular haircuts - Next one booked for March!
  21. Move forward with my life and make new friends
  22. Do my best at my new job - I am enough - Doing okay at this!
  23. Keep my commute healthy - Good most of the time!
  24. Listen to Harry Potter audiobooks - First book done!
  25. Get rid of stuff I no longer need when I move
  26. Use the mantra ‘F**k It’ - Trying to use when stressed!
  27. Take up pilates or yoga
  28. Create photo albums for all my trips
  29. Try two new recipes a month from my cook books - Doing this when in my own place!

I feel really good about my progress on this in only a month. I’m being flexible and know that I may have to change a couple of things. For example some of my friends want to do a local charity run and maybe a swim event and I would love to do things with people this year. Also my house had been delayed so I put off starting a few things until I move as I know it will be easier then. It feels good to have something to focus on and work towards that isn’t focused on losing weight or counting calories!

Depression Lies

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It’s week has been and gone. It was my first full week in my new job. It was my birthday. It was tiring and contained a lot of information.

I haven’t felt my best all week. I’ve been okay at work because there has been lots to do and learn. But I have had this lost feeling all week. I think it is because its all new and I have gone from being the expert in my area in my last job, to a complete novice in my new job. The doubts are creeping and threatening to overwhelm.

It also doesn’t help I have my Chartered Environmentalist interview tomorrow. I knew I would get nervous, but I really feel like I don’t know anything. I feel unprepared. I know it won’t be the end of the world if I don’t get chartered, but I will be extremely disappointed. I already I know I will blame myself for not doing enough.

The self doubt is the worst.

I then came across a blog post from Will Wheaton titled Depression Lies and know its true.

Depression is an illness. I feel it is an illness that doesn’t want you to get better. It tells you to stop everything, to give in to the despair, as that will make it better. When the truth is it won’t at all. Depression lies to you and you have to fight with all your strength sometimes not to be sucked into its lies.

I keep reminding myself of the work I have already done for the chartered status. I wouldn’t have gotten the interview without the work. The two essays I had to write we’re reviewed by people who believe I have the skills needed to become chartered. They wouldn’t have given me an interview if I didn’t meet the criteria. Therefore the interview is to cement that and prove I can think on my feet and can apply my knowledge.

It is the depression talking and telling me I’m not good enough. It lies.

My eating this week was good to start then slipped on my birthday and for the couple of days after. But I kept my exercise going and that helped a lot with sleeping. I lost 1.4lbs and reached my 5% goal on WeightWatchers! So my next goal is to lose a stone, which is 2lbs away. I’ve been using Myfitnesspal too and think that has helped as it takes my exercise into consideration, which I have never done on WeightWatchers. I think I need to get the balance better and make sure I eat enough and not burn out. It’s a work in progress, but it is progress nonetheless :)

I’m hoping the job will become clearer and I get used to the commute. In the meantime I will keep moving forward and do the best I can in the moment. I will try not to worry about what the future holds and focus on what I can do now and enjoy it.

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