I’ve been stuck for a while. I feel I’ve let myself down and I don’t like that. There have been valid reason why I haven’t been able to meet my goals, but yet I have still set them and worked towards them. I’ve adapted them as my life has changed and my thoughts about things have changed.
However deep down I know if I want to change I have to get on and do it. I have to put the work in and earn the rewards I want, not expect them to appear just because time has passed.
I’ve been faffing with wanting to make my bedroom an electronic free zone since moving into my house. A few times I’ve tried to not take my laptop to bed to finish watching a TV programme, but never stuck to it. So this week I just decided it has to happen. It’s about more than wanting to not have electronics in my bedroom. It’s about when I watch TV actually watch things I want to watch, rather than seeing what’s on and then ending up watching an eighth repeat of the Big Bang Theory.
My time is precious and therefore I have to choose how I use it.
So there are two other areas of my life I want to take control on and change – no excuses!
I’ve been here before. I plan things out, but fail to follow them through. Now I have to take a stand. These two link for me. I overeat on things I purposely buy to overeat and waste money on those things, which leads to stress as I then limit myself on other things I could be doing and enjoy doing.
I have wanted to concentrate on having three meals a day and one (maybe two) snacks a day. Everything I’ve learnt in the past five years makes this make sense for me. I have to take into consideration my exercise and training, but that is scheduling and making sure I eat the right proportions of things to fuel me properly. I know eating better will help with losing weight and getting fitter and without it I will remain stuck where I am – able to do things, but always find them hard and not fully enjoy them (running anyone?). This will also mean I’ll be able to treat myself when the occasion calls for it, without the guilt. So the change I’m making is to have three meals a day and one (or two when required) snacks. That means if I want cereal for dinner I can, but that is my evening meal. Of course I’ll try to add protein and veggies to it, but that’s okay.
It’s expensive buying a house! Then getting used to all the bills! Council tax, TV licence (I just have to think of Sherlock to justify this), gym, swimming, car… the list goes on! The also having enough for if things go wrong. But then also wanting to enjoy life now and be able to save for holidays. It’s gotten quite stressful and I don’t like it. But I still waste money! Mainly on food or little things I don’t really need, which then makes me stress and miss things I would have been able to do if I hadn’t wasted the money. I’m stuck in a cycle and I need to break it. So I’m drawing a line. I have to pay off a credit card. I have to pay my bills. I have to enjoy life with limited disposable income (but at least I do have some disposable income, unlike many). So I need to shape up and stop wasting money. I am good at setting my budget, but rubbish at following it. I am constantly adjusting things to make room for wastefulness. NO MORE! If I want to be financially independent (no debt) I have to work towards making that happen. It’s not going to happen overnight. I have to plan it out and get there over time. It’s going to be hard and mean I’m limited for a while, but if I keep going like I am I’ll be limited for a lot longer.
These are big changes and they aren’t going to be easy. They will be made up of lots of little steps, but I haven’t hashed out the detail yet. I will probably learn as I go along. But I must not lose sight of the destination I want to reach for instant gratification. If I keep doing that I’ll never reach that destination or be able to move forward from there on the rest of my journey. What I need to remember is that I’m not happy right now, so therefore I need to make changes to my journey.