Tag Archives: Life

A New Approach to Life

Weight is such an annoying topic. It seems to permeate into every aspect of my life somehow and that is because I let it. I have managed to attach my self-worth to what I weigh and it is not the way I want to live. It is restricting and uncomfortable (and not only for my body, but also for my mind). I’m trying to look at myself a different way. To look myself in a way in which I can love myself for who I am rather than for what I am. I want the word ‘fat’ to no longer be attached to myself worth. It is just something that is and that means I can change it if I want to. I don’t want it to get in my way anymore, or be an excuse. So I am going to do something about it.

I’m limiting my body’s potential by eating too much (realised after reading Superlatively Rude -I love this girl!) I’m also limiting my own life’s potential. I want to be able to do anything I set my mind to.

I want to change how I look after myself – body, mind, and soul – as I want to feel strong, sexy, adventurous, confident, competent, sassy, accomplished, and even more!

So how can I change how I take care of myself?

  • Body
    • Swimming – work towards a 10km and lake swimming through winter
    • Eat well and not more than I need – cut out the crap!
    • Daily personal care – makeup, clothes, face routine
    • Monthly personal care – waxing, hair
  • Mind
    • Monthly reflections
    • #Askthequestion
    • Managing my finances and spending wisely
    • Work for progress
  • Soul
    • My cats – I love them to bits!
    • Read good books and watch good tv
    • Blog because I love to share, not because I have to blog
    • Enjoying my home and space (especially my new garden space)

I do all of this already, but with no regularity and can feel guilty about them as they are personal things for me only and that can feel selfish. I have realised I spend a lot of time adapting to others and that has to stop. I want to be flexible and reliable, but this needs to be on my own terms, not because someone else thinks it’s selfish of me. I want to focus on different aspects of my life and get away from thinking in terms of diet, fitness, and work. I want to create a fulfilled life even if that changes every month. I’ve been so busy focusing on the same things over and over I’ve lost my sense of creatively and adventure. I want to search it out again. I want to change from thinking about the destination to thinking about the journey and enjoying everything single moment I can for the rest of my life – that is my journey.

DNS (Did Not Start)

I’ve made the decision to pull out of everything triathlon for the foreseeable future. The only way I will be involved is through swimming (doing a relay in May), otherwise I am stepping away and focusing on my own swimming journey.

It has taken me months to realise something wasn’t right with what I was focusing on. I have been struggling with motivation to train and especially to run and I wondered why. I knew it had to be more than just the cold winter months of darkness. I have been in denial about how much I wanted to do triathlon and when the commitment requirement was getting too much I realised I didn’t want to do it at all any more.

So I am withdrawing from the 70.3 I signed up for last year and the Good Friday Tri later this week!

Maybe if I had realised a spoken up sooner I wouldn’t be stepping away completely, but that is with hindsight. Right now I don’t want to have anything to do with triathlon and need to step away before I come to hate it.

I hope I’ll come back to it one day, but I am happy with what I have already achieved. I thought I wanted to do a longer distance, but deep down I know it is not the right time for me to commit to something like this. I have to want it so much that nothing else matters and in truth that is not how I feel right now. I want to progress at work and I want swim in the lake more this summer. I want to spend time at home with my cats and take them into the garden to play and explore. I want to walk and spend time exploring for myself and letting myself wander in both body and mind.

I want so many things, but I don’t want triathlon like that anymore, and that is okay.

I’ve stressed about this for months and even once I made the decision probably over a month ago, I couldn’t bring myself to make it final. I felt guilty and worried I would be letting people down, but I know that if I did carry on I would only be letting myself down as I would not be able to give it my best and that matters to me. I have now told the club (leaving the option for a relay team open) and it is final. I feel so much lighter and less nervous. I know I can now move forwards in the ways I want to, rather than the way I was forcing myself to.

Life Lately = Busy!

Where has March gone already?! I can’t believe I haven’t posted since the 4th and now it’s the 28th!

It’s been a busy month and I haven’t had chance to think really. I’ve got a few posts I need to share and will be getting those up, even if some are just photo posts in the next week or so. But work has taken over my life and I don’t mind. I am enjoying what I am doing and am really pushing to get a step up later this year, so like being busy and challenging myself by taking on new projects. I’ve also been able to get out to some different sites this month, which has been great.

I’ve also had my 5th cold of the year and have been really frustrated about it. I have had some kind of illness since November and I am ready to be down, but I cannot seem to shake this last one and am still snivelling and coughing after a couple of weeks. I’ve let it eat into my training and be an excuse for not doing things. I’m pulling out of a triathlon I signed up for at the beginning of April and am changing my May one to a relay team. The only other one I have signed up for is the 70.3 and I am really not feeling it and am pretty certain I will be withdrawing as have not done a single bit of running in 3 weeks. I just need to make the decision for myself.

I have actually been doing a lot of thinking recently and have been making some changes to my behaviours to help myself and make my life what I want it to be. It’s not about being happy all the time, but rather content with my life and the decisions I make. So I’ve been inducing in some of my favourite past times recently:

TV – I’ve been watching The Blacklist & Grey’s Anatomy (season 9 onwards) and have been loving getting back involved with good TV. I admit I love watching a number of episodes in one go, rather than wait each week (yay for Sky Go box sets). My TV has been playing up so have mainly been streaming, but I finally got around to calling the aerial guys and that will be fixed next week!

Films – I’ve been taking advantage of my unlimited card this year and in March so far have seen Home, Chappie, The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, and Focus. I plan on going to see something tomorrow, but not sure what yet. I love my early afternoon visits to the cinema as there is usually hardly anyone there and I can book my favourite seat and enjoy some downtime.

Books – I haven’t been reading much this month, but have been listening to The Dresden Files and Sherlock Holmes audiobooks. I’ve got a few book reviews to post from February and plan on doing that over the next week or so. My plan is to spend more time reading as I really do miss it. I want to cut/focus my training time and have more free time to enjoy the things I love.

House – I have had a few quotes to get my garden paved over as all my grass is dead and I want somewhere I can relax and take the cats out into and clean my bikes. The firm I have chosen came round this morning to measure up and will be starting next week, which is way sooner than I expected, but fantastic as I will soon have an outside space I can use and enjoy properly for the summer.

So there has been a lot going on. It’s nice to sit and remind myself as I am prone to thinking I haven’t been doing enough, but it is more about doing the things I love doing and that is enough. The blog had to slide a bit, but I hope to get back on track in April and again focus on the things I love and enjoy.

Life update

The blog has had to a backseat these last few weeks as life has been super busy. I think 2015 is going to be about quality over quantity in general, not just the blog, but also training and how I use my time.

Big news time!

I am now a qualified level 1 swimming teacher!

I spent last week in Bristol on my swim teaching course with a great group of people and a great course tutor from the Institute of Swimming.  I chose to do the intense course for my level 1 as I need to do this in order to do my level 2 course, which is what my swimming club really need me to have. It was a full on week of learning and teaching crash course kids lessons on top of commuting to Bristol. The course is all about how you assist a level 2 teacher, but we still had to write lesson plans and evaluations and were taking the swimming lessons in pairs. It was good fun as well as information overload. With swimming, like any sport, it is all about safeguarding children and vulnerable adults. It is serious and can have serious consequences, therefore keeping yourself safe as a teacher is also extremely important.

I have decided to focus my efforts and spare time on developing my swimming skills and that means my teaching/coaching skills as well. I thought about continuing my triathlon coaching, but it is not where my full interest lies. Swimming is my passion and where I want to learn and challenge myself.

Later this week I am having a video analysis session to look at my front crawl and learn what I need to do to become a better open water swimmer. I have saved up my pennies and splashed out on this and a follow up session including 4 121 lake sessions with my coach. I will let you know how it goes!

I want to do more swimming focused posts to share my love and hopefully point people to some good resources out there. I’ve been looking at Critical Swim Speed training (CSS) for myself and think I’ll do a post on that once I’ve got my head around it as well as share more about my club training.

I’m still not where I want to be mentally when it comes to the 70.3 triathlon, but I am enjoying my swimming and cycling. At the moment I hate running and I know it is all down to my weight. I’ve reached out to some people in the running club for support and will continue to work on this aspect of my life so it complements my training.

Life is full on at the moment and that is okay. As long as I make time for myself to unwind everything is good.

Making it easier for myself

Since admitting I was out of sync with things yesterday I have been thinking of how I can re-align things for myself.

A big part of my struggle right now is my schedule. I like having some evenings in during the week to myself. I do not like coming home and then waiting to go to club, specifically running club, as I feel I can run anytime I want to and am not restricted by getting pool time.

So for running I am going to start going on my own straight from work. I will then go to the club as and when i want. This way I come home from work, feed the cats and go back out from home rather than have to drive anywhere. My other option is to run at lunchtime at work. This is the only thing I can do at that time as I would have to drive to a gym or pool. I would just need to be a bit more organised.

For cycling I need to get into the routine of heading out straight after swimming on a weekend at the moment. Once it is lighter I can mix things up and cycle to and from work or go straight after work. I have got a turbo trainer, but have yet to use it or find a space where I can set it up and leave it. I also need to get into the routine of cleaning my bike on the return from a ride. So having an area set up for this would make it easier.

Swimming isn’t an issue really. I am restricted to club pool times to get the most out of my training. I’m rubbish in public sessions. I am having some 121 sessions for lake swimming and video analysis later this month and am really looking forward to getting to know my Critical Swim Speed and train with that.

Making easier for myself will mean getting organised. I would like to make it easier to head out the door so I will take a look at my fitness bags and have they set up and ready to just add clothes.  Looking at where and how I store my clothes and changing things up to make things more accessible (and easier to put away after washing!) would be another thing.

I might have a rethink of how my house is set out:

  • Is there a way I can have my turbo and bike indoors during the week?
  • Where can I keep my fitness bags for easy grab and go?
  • Can I store my fitness clothes and accessories in specific boxes?
  • Can I make room in the spare room by getting rid of crap?

This is turning into a slightly bigger task than I thought when I started writing this post, but I like the way it is heading. I want my life to be focused around health and fitness and my home doesn’t currently support what I need, so I need to make some changes.  However I will not try to do this all at once. I will start with the actual fitness scheduling and over the next few weeks start making changes at home to support it. I need to figure what I have when it comes to storage and where I can put things and therefore if things need to be moved.

I feel so much better for getting yesterday’s post out there as it has helped me move onto the problem solving rather than be stuck in the problem.

I also do want to do the 70.3 this year. I’m just scared at the moment.

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