Tag Archives: Learning

Being Aware of Depression Eating

Food has always been a problem for me. There are times I wish I could just give it up like people do with cigarettes or alcohol. In the last few years I have become more and more aware of my binge eating problem and using food as a coping mechanism. It has been in the last few months though that I have realised that depression eating had taken over. I think depression eating goes beyond typical comfort eating and even binge eating for me. It was as though food was the only way I could feel anything.

After reading around the web I came across a great blog post from Bitch Cakes on depression eating, which laid it out clearly for me to identify with and made me aware that I was in denial. Sheryl goes through some fantastic tips on what helps her deal with depression eating that I am going to try and do:

  • Removing distractions is probably the hardest one for me as I often want to be distracted from my low thoughts. However I see the benefit in this and journally is a good way to structure my thoughts so they don’t drag me down.
  • Rest is a favourite of mine. I often find when I am really low I am also extremely tired and therefore just taking some time out to rest can be the best thing to bring me back up.
  • Getting active is my go to therapy. Using my body and feeling strong is a great pick me up and reenforces all the healthy habits I want to keep up.
  • Ask myself why I am doing what I am doing is another hard one when all seems lost and hopeless, but also a very important one to reminding myself I am enough and I am worth my attention.
  • Remind myself of my goals relates to the one above but I can get specific. It is a good time to reevaluate and look at the progress I have made and if there are any changes I need to make to move forward, especially if I’ve been feeling stuck.
  • Remind myself that food doesn’t have magical healing powers is one I had never thought of. This is something that stems from childhood I think – food makes everything better, when in reality it doesn’t. It can add to a moment or a celebration, but it doesn’t cure anything – even though I wish it would.
  • Rethink my environment (food and people) is a good one and one where significant changes can be made. It is also the hardest as it can be the one you ahve least control over, for example your family and work environments. However I have made changes to let go of people where we no longer benefit from each other. It’s hard int he short term, but in the longer term I feel better.
  • Ask myself what is keeping me where I am and how can I get to where I want to be, which is something I recently did when looking at what is keeping me at my current weight. It’s a way to be honest with yourself without judgement.

I was really glad I found Sheryl’s blog and love that she contributes to the Weight Watchers website in America. Developing the life I want to live is hard, but I know it will be worthwhile and will be constantly evolving.

Being away for a few days has helped me listen to myself, rather than let other people influence me with regards to food and hunger. I may not have eaten the best things all the time, but I haven’t eaten non stop like I would have done in the past. I have enjoyed what I have had and moved forward. This is what I want the future to be like.

Adventures in Food… Christmas Cupcake Making

Today I went to a complete cupcake workshop held at the local college. I booked it way back in June or July, as I really wanted to do the one in April but it got booked up. So as soon as I saw a Christmas themed one I booked on.

It was great fun and much easier than I thought it would be. We started off by making the cake mix using an all in one method. This meant putting all the ingredients into a bowl and then using the mixer to whiz it all together. I have never done this before. I’m used to creaming the butter and sugar together, then adding the eggs and then folding in the flour. But this could be done and in the oven in less than 5 minutes!

After 15-20 minutes in the oven they came out a nice golden brown.

We then made the butter cream. This bit took longer than I expected as we mixed it for 15 minutes! But it created an amazingly light cream.

I then used the butter cream to create domes on a few of the cupcakes.

The using cutters prepared the fondant icing to lay on top.

Also the smaller shapes to use on just butter cream topped cupcakes.

We made each cupcake at a time starting with Rudolph.

Then a Holly Wreath.

Then a Happy Xmas Banner.

Then a final fondant one – Santa!

Then I did three cupcake using piped butter cream with decorations on top.

It was a great day and I enjoyed making the cupcakes and putting together the decorations. We used quite a few bits of equipment, but several pieces could be used for other things. The easiest was the Rudolph as it was all shaped by hand and a rolling pin. Others need specific shape cutters and presses, but you could get them fairly cheaply we were told. Other things like glitter, paint, dusting powder and sprinkles were also used and easy to find. All of these were quite complicated and if I was doing a batch at home I would only do a few like this and make other designs less complicated. I think the colours used are the most important part and make the theme.

I will definitely be trying these out again and might even sign up to do another themed workshop next year!


Wanderings in Fashion… Fossil Sunglasses

This I admit is a totally random purchase for November, but a new outlet store opened in my town and I couldn’t resist. I chose my christmas present from my parents but also wanted to buy something for myself so I treated myself to these sunglasses!

The photos are great but they are a purple/brown colour.

I just loved how they looked on (again not the best photo) and they cover the whole of my eyes so will be great for wearing driving as well as walking around.

I have a few Fossil things as they are one of my favourite brands. I love the slogan on the glasses – Love Live Vintage.

This is me trying expand my wardrobe and accessories beyond my normal choices. A lot my stuff is walking or work based so I am trying to try new things and have a new work wardrobe post planned where I hope to work out some different outfits I can put together using some new purchases and some stuff I already have 🙂

Adventures in Coffee… Home Espresso Machine

I was supposed to be saving this as a house warming present to myself, but a couple of weeks ago I caved and am so glad I did!

I have wanted my own coffee machine for a long time. I debated whether to get a capsule machine, but in the end decided against it as I wanted to have a go at doing some latte art – it’s not going well but I’ve only had it for 2 weeks and I’m having fun 🙂

I decided to go for this one because of the style and the reviews of Delongi online. I was going to go for a slightly cheaper version but my dad talked me into this one as he felt the other looked plasticky compared to it.

I love that it has a proper coffee arm and you get a spoon and press with it. I like being able to choose between having a single or double espresso – or making two singles at once. It also includes a cup for easy espresso pods, which I haven’t used yet.

Frothing the milk is easy, but you have to make sure it is hot before pouring into the coffee. I have made both cappuccinos and lattes (just use a spoon to hold back the foam). But like I said I’m struggling with the latte art – more practice required 🙂

The main disappointment is that it doesn’t include a metal milk jug. I had to buy one separately. It is also not automatic when it comes to stopping the espresso, so the first few I made were quite large as I expected it to stop. The up holder also takes a while to warm up, especially if you’re like me and turn it off after every cup made. Although it is really useful for letting dough rise if you put the bowl on top 😉

Overall a fantastic coffee machine that will have pride and place in my kitchen in my house. It should also save me money by not having to go to coffee shops all the time, but I haven’t found that yet 😉

Committing to Myself

I woke up today wanting to change. I woke up today wanting to live the life I want to live for the rest of my life. Then I crawled back under the covers and hid. I let the excuses overcome me. I let the negative thoughts and the doubting thoughts take over. It was easier to stay in bed.

But then I got up. Slowly for sure, but I got up. I made myself breakfast. I caught up wit my favourite blogs and websites. I then went to the gym – on a Sunday!

It felt good and I felt good. So I came home and sat down and made a commitment to take care of myself.

These are not goals, but rather statements I want to live my life by. Things I value about myself and other people. Things I will make a priority over other things. I will do these to make sure I am taking care of myself and living the life I want to lead and have fun while doing it.

From here I then made some goals. Firstly to get through the next week. A week I thought I would be back in work so am also a little scared about.

I have decided to do WeightWatchers Online to get my eating under control. This has worked for me in the past, but I rebelled against it after reading about intuitive eating and not dieting, but I have come to realise that does not work for me. I work better with rules, tasks and planning. I tried just calorie counting with the Ki Fit, but the numbers can be off putting so WW ProPoints system is more appealing to me. I don’t expect it to be easy. I expect it to be hard. I expect my binge tendencies to surface. I am going to work hard and fight to live the life I want to live – one full of nourishing food that lets my body thrive.

I made my meal plan and exercise plan. I’m trying to be flexible and so have not planned out the latter part of the week just incase my plans change, but it felt good to sit and focus on myself. I have written in activity on all the days, but my goal is five sessions and any other is a bonus. I am focusing on exercising efficiently and to encourage relaxation and strength of body and mind.

I also made some goals leading me up to Christmas – only 9 weeks away!

These give me something to focus on and work towards. I also have goals regarding my depression, but those are hard to put a time line on so I am just going to keep working away at them regardless. I know I’ve been thinking more about next year rather than now and that’s not the way I want to live my life. I want to live in the present (and plan for the future) as I want to enjoy everyday.

I am tracking all this the old fashioned way and as I love funny notebooks and found this one a while ago so decided to bring it out as my food journal as I’m not a fan of doing it electronically 🙂

Anyone want to join me in making a commitment to take care of yourself?

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