It’s been an interesting couple of weeks. I’ve felt out of sorts, but after a fantastic holiday to Porto I feel better and feel strong about my decisions.
I lost 2.6lbs this week after putting on 4lbs last week. So that is great, but I was really trying.
I forgot to do a screen shot of last week as well so here are two weeks
I have made good progress on my activity and steps, and also improved my sleep a bit! Food tracking wise has not been good at all. I’ve been aware of what I’m eating, but not counting calories. I want to start WeightWatchers this week and am ready to commit back to that aspect of losing weight. I think tracking is one of the main influences on how much I eat, but I do not get on with electronic tracking, I am going to keep it focused on writing it all down. I would like to keep inputing it into MFP, but I am focusing on writing it down so it sinks in. It’s like revision – I remember it better once I have written it down myself.
So my aims for this week is to get to the gym twice as I’ve been slacking in this area of my fitness and have noticed how my strength is reducing in my shoulders and legs, so need to get back on that. I am going to go to a WeightWatchers meeting one lunchtime and then sit down and work out how I am going to make the time to so stay organised. I am also going to make time to do my CBT work this week as that has been left since I went on holiday, so need to go back through it. My other goal is to learn how to change a tyre on my bike – only a slight thing seeing as my triathlon is in two weeks!
Hope you are all having a good week. I’m starting the week off after my running session watching The Hobbit
So this last week was better than the week before, but not great. I lost it on Friday and couldn’t get it back until Sunday. I stayed the same weight, which is frustrating, but at least I didn’t gain.
I was really please with my average calorie burn over the week and also with my activity and steps! I went swimming, running, to the gym and did 30 Day Shred! I also got my bike fixed and went for a 5 mile and 9 mile rides at the weekend. I’ve got this part down
The calories consumed reflect the good days, but no the two bing days. I’ve set myself the task of sticking to 1800 calories for six days this week and then having one day where I can have more – that will be Saturday I think. Trying a different tactic by setting myself a rule. I tried using maintain a 1000 calorie deficit, but I really struggle with it and tend to each too much. So I’m working on reducing my snacking and having three meals a day and one snack – I’ve been listening to Jillian Michaels!
Speaking of Jillian Michaels I listened to her podcast from a few weeks ago where she had a caller and was talking about why we stay overweight. It got me thinking about what does staying at my current weight afford me? I would love to say nothing at all, but I know that is not true. It is a protection in some form. I think from rejection mainly. It is an excuse for not doing things or not being the best at something. I found it really interesting to think about this without judgement, just honesty.
I am definitely afraid of rejection and it is something I am working on with my CBT therapist. The session last week touched on it and it was so hard to talk about. My post from easter weekend really got me thinking. I keep so busy that it stops me from feeling or thinking about things that are really getting to me. I didn’t realise how lonely I was until I was on my own without the option to do something else. That scared me and not in a good way.
This week I’ve planned my meals and fitness and feel positive. I want to do what is good for myself and treat myself well. I want to value myself and make them internal to myself. I spend my life seeing myself how I think the world does and I want to change that. I want to know deep inside I am good enough being me. I want to know I can challenge myself and not feel afraid of failing, but a willingness to take risks and try new things. I want to be myself around people – those I know and those I don’t yet. I want to not be afraid of rejection for being me. I want to stop using my weight as an excuse and learn new ways of protecting myself, while allowing myself to be vulnerable and real.
I feel good.
I totally forgot to do this post yesterday!
I decided to sign back put to a local organic farm veg box scheme and got my first box Thursday!
I also got milk and eggs added to my weekly delivery
My plan is to base my weeks meals around what I get in the box. This week was lots of root vegetables so I plan to do some roasted veg tomorrow then make a potato based salads for lunches
I’ve talked about using food to comfort before, but I’ve really been thinking about this week as it is something I need to change in order to live how I want to live and have a healthy relationship with food.
I use food as more than just food. This would not be a problem if it was a once in a blue moon occurrence, but it is more like everyday.
I’ve been asking myself these questions after seeing a post by Ashley over at Coffee, Cake and Cardio:
- Why am I overweight?
- Why haven’t lost weight?
- Why aren’t I able to keep the weight off?
- Why do I use food for comfort
- What is missing from my life?
It’s been hard to be totally honest with myself, but I know it is for the best. I’m not going to put my answers on here, as I am still trying to get my head around the answers.
Part of my plan is eat healthier and stick to my budget. Part of why they link is because I spend money on food I do not need. I fund binges on money that could go towards other things or from money I do not really have.
Therefore this changing my realtionship with food is extra important to me. My strategy is to meal plan and then make a shopping list based on that. I will include things I enjoy, but should only do so in moderation as to not deprive myself. I also want to reduce the amount of trips to the food shops that I currently do.
So I’m going back to ordering an organic vegetable box from a local farm. I have gone for a weekly fruit and veg box and plan to base my meals around what I get each week. I am also ordering milk and eggs from the farm too. My plan is to then do one or two other shops a month to avoid having to pop to the shop on my way home from work or at the weekends.
I know I’m making a lot of changes in a short amount of time, but this feels right. It’s also not all new changes. It is bring together things I know work for me and focusing my effort into them in order to change my relationship with food and live how I want to.
I have my fitbook and now I have to subscribe back to the Ki Fit. I’ve lost my display in the move so will be searching for it tomorrow in order to sign up for Monday.
I’m feeling good about all this
I think the key for me to lose weight is to track my food. I said last week that was going to be my focus for the week, and I started off well, but got distracted when the weekend (Friday) arrived. I would like to find a way to reduce the impact this has on me.
My friends Linz and I have been trying to use My Fitness Pal and she is doing fantastic! But I am not so much. It’s frustrating and disappointing. I know it’s my choice to ‘forget’ to use the app or the website. They make it so easy to track everything, especially now you can scan the bar codes of everything!
But I am not doing it. I know lots of people don’t agree with tracking or counting calories, but for me it provides order and structure and stops me over eating in an uncontrolled manner. For me it is about building awareness and becoming conscious of my eating habits and changing them to support the life I want to live.
Talking with Mara has made me think I need to add to my food tracking by adding how the food makes me feel when I eat it and some time later. This could allow me to become aware of more than just the immediate hunger and build up a better picture of what foods allow me to be the me I like. I’m not sure how to connect this to MFP, but I think I will try somehow, even if it’s just writing in the notes each day.
I forgot to weigh in this morning, but I don’t feel I’ve lost any weight. I don’t think I’ve put any on either though. My fitness for the last week was great. I didn’t exercise on Thursday and noticed how tired I was on Friday as I didn’t sleep as well as I would have liked. I think exercise tires me out and allows me to sleep better, so I am going to try and do something every evening this week to test that theory.
My goal for this week is to track everything on MFP and make it a habit to do so!