This week was much better. I still binged, but I tracked everything. EVERYTHING!
Why is it so easy to eat 3000 calories?!!!
Anyway, I lost a pound, so I’m happy as it’s back in the right direction.
I kept an average calorie deficit of over 600 calories a day so it worked out well. I burned a lot this last week too. I did have a very active weekend. I need to find a balance between activity and fuelling myself well enough to do all of it without having to binge. My activity and steps were great again this week. Sleep has not really improved and I’m not sure what to do about it. I’m planning on speaking to my doctor about it again.
I think tiredness is a big factor in my binges. I noticed this week that I was tired and couldn’t be bothered to cook or organise, so went for quick and easy. I craved carbs and sugar. It was interesting as I was listening to the latest Jillian Michaels podcast and she was talking about it you think about eating protein, like chicken or eggs, and really don’t want it, you are just craving and not actually hungry. I need to try this. Plus have protein snacks available at the weekends. I get organised for most of the week, but the remainder of the week from Thursday tends to fall apart as I get tired. It’s been interesting to notice this about myself and now I know there are things I can do about it.
This week I’m off to Portugal to visit my friend Ingrid and I cannot wait! We will be sampling the delights of Portugal and walking – lots of walking Ingrid! My goals are to track everything and walk. Also to try and stick to 3 meals and a snack as much as possible. But to also have fun and relax and enjoy my time off and spending time with my friend
I wanted to do another update on how I’m getting on with my 29 by 29 list this last month:
Move into my own place - Complete!
- Adopt a cat – I’m thinking June/July after I’ve had laser eye surgery to avoid allergies
- Do a Super Sprint Triathlon - 400m swim, 20km bike, 2.5km run - Signed up for the short super sprint on the 12th May!
- Take part in running club events and volunteer to help when I can’t take part – I’ve signed up for two 5 miles events in April and June and thinking a 10km for July
- Do the Parkrun once a month and volunteer as a marshall
- January = 38:19
- February = 34:40
- March = 34:42
- Bake more bread – yet to start this
- Complete the CBT Journal for Dummies - Got delayed with the move and getting proper CBT therapist, but will pick up again
- Read more classic books as part of my 2013 reading challenge - i’m going to make sure I do this over the remainder of the year
- Stick to my budget and save for holidays and house things - this is more important than ever!
- Take a bike maintenance course – been looking for one, but no joy yet
- Join a WW meeting and work towards goal - I created my 3 month and 6 month plan so this has changed a bit
Blog – maybe a redesign - Complete!
- Plan budget friendly trips – Booked to go to Portugal this month, then it will be exploring locally
- Try acupuncture – this is going to depend on finances
- Keep working to create and maintain good mental health - Working on this and it has really become an important aspect of my life
- Join a coffee club - it’s one of my big weight loss rewards for the next few months
- Take part in the Masters galas and club championships
- February Gala – 2 Golds and 2 Silvers!
- Next one in June
- Work out savings plan for trip to Japan - this is on hold
- Catch up on Greys Anatomy (been watching Castle non stop)
- Get regular haircuts - Going well
- Move forward with my life and make new friends – making work friends
- Do my best at my new job - I am enough - Still think this is going well.
- Keep my commute healthy - Felt better this last week as the evenings are now lighter (worried about next winter though)
- Listen to Harry Potter audiobooks - Books one, two and three done
Get rid of stuff I no longer need when I move – Complete!
- Use the mantra ‘F**k It’ – trying to remember this
- Take up pilates or yoga – might have to get a dvd to do this one
- Create photo albums for all my trips
- Try two new recipes a month from my cook books - Now I’ve got my veg box coming each week I am making more of an effort to try new combinations, but would like to sit down and take the time to decide on some recipes.
Overall good progress this month. A few things are on hold due to finances, but not ruled out forever – who knew buying a house was so costly! Then other things have come a long like being told I have to wear glasses all the time – hence the laser eye surgery booking. This is not a bad thing though, I just need to prioritise and explore locally more. I’m happy, nervous and excited that I’ve signed up for a few events over the next couple of months. It gives me something to work towards and keep me focused. I’m really looking forward to heading over to Portugal to see Ingrid. I think the coming month is going to be a good one too!
So this last week was better than the week before, but not great. I lost it on Friday and couldn’t get it back until Sunday. I stayed the same weight, which is frustrating, but at least I didn’t gain.
I was really please with my average calorie burn over the week and also with my activity and steps! I went swimming, running, to the gym and did 30 Day Shred! I also got my bike fixed and went for a 5 mile and 9 mile rides at the weekend. I’ve got this part down
The calories consumed reflect the good days, but no the two bing days. I’ve set myself the task of sticking to 1800 calories for six days this week and then having one day where I can have more – that will be Saturday I think. Trying a different tactic by setting myself a rule. I tried using maintain a 1000 calorie deficit, but I really struggle with it and tend to each too much. So I’m working on reducing my snacking and having three meals a day and one snack – I’ve been listening to Jillian Michaels!
Speaking of Jillian Michaels I listened to her podcast from a few weeks ago where she had a caller and was talking about why we stay overweight. It got me thinking about what does staying at my current weight afford me? I would love to say nothing at all, but I know that is not true. It is a protection in some form. I think from rejection mainly. It is an excuse for not doing things or not being the best at something. I found it really interesting to think about this without judgement, just honesty.
I am definitely afraid of rejection and it is something I am working on with my CBT therapist. The session last week touched on it and it was so hard to talk about. My post from easter weekend really got me thinking. I keep so busy that it stops me from feeling or thinking about things that are really getting to me. I didn’t realise how lonely I was until I was on my own without the option to do something else. That scared me and not in a good way.
This week I’ve planned my meals and fitness and feel positive. I want to do what is good for myself and treat myself well. I want to value myself and make them internal to myself. I spend my life seeing myself how I think the world does and I want to change that. I want to know deep inside I am good enough being me. I want to know I can challenge myself and not feel afraid of failing, but a willingness to take risks and try new things. I want to be myself around people – those I know and those I don’t yet. I want to not be afraid of rejection for being me. I want to stop using my weight as an excuse and learn new ways of protecting myself, while allowing myself to be vulnerable and real.
I feel good.
This is the first real book I’ve read this year! Crazy but true. With my commute I just don’t feel like reading in the evenings as I tend to be on the tired side.
I picked this book up back in January and even went against my unwritten rule of not buying books with movie covers! I went against this as I do like the two actors on the cover.
I read this book in a day. I had a dive day on Sunday and got stuck into this book. Plus I got the email to say my dvd order of this is being delivered this week! It is a really easy read so took no time at all to get into.
I liked the premise of the book:
“Pat Peoples knows that life doesn’t always go according to plan, but he’s determined to get his back on track. After a stint in a psychiatric hospital, Pat is staying with his parents and trying to live according to his new philosophy: get fit, be nice and always look for the silver lining. Most importantly, Pat is determined to be reconciled with his wife Nikki. Pat’s parents just want to protect him so he can get back on his feet, but when Pat befriends the mysterious Tiffany, the secrets they’ve been keeping from him threaten to come out . . .”
The characters are interesting and likeable. I found it easy to relate to some of the feelings described in the book, but others not so much. The obsessive nature of Pat was interesting to watch and see develop over the story. The people in Pat’s life and how they interact was also very interesting to me, as I find that the hardest to understand in my own life. Watching Pat take everything in and trying to figure things out was heart breaking in some ways. Knowing that the people you trust are keeping things from you to keep you safe from yourself must be hard to deal with. The ending left me feeling weird. The whole story comes out, but it didn’t feel finished. But then I suppose life doesn’t end like books do. That was just one chapter of Pat’s life we were privy to. I wonder how the rest of his life turns out.
I am looking forward to watching the film to see how it was interpreted. I think certain relationships with be given more emphasis than others and that some events will be left out. It will be interesting to see how the character is brought across as we won’t have access to Pat’s head like we do in the book.
Overall a good book dealing with depression and relationships in a way that I haven’t read before. I will be looking out for the author’s next book.
Overall an awful week! I turned to food for comfort and gains 4lbs.
I am using this week as a lesson to look back on when times get tough again. I have made some plans on how to deal with the loneliness I’ve been feeling this last week. Hopefully this will help me not turn to food in those times. It is also something I plan to go over again with my therapist.
Also I’m glad Easter is over and the deals on chocolate will no longer be so tempting – at least until the christmas stuff reappears in August! I am going to work on my plan to avoid food shops unless I actually need to go into them. Using my vegetable and fruit box has been going well. I’ve been meal prepping at the weekends and basing my lunches and dinners around what I get each week. I’ve also planned to have eggs for breakfast during the week in order to up my protein and hopefully keep me fuller for longer. I also bought some instant porridge to have in my work drawer as a snack, rather than breakfast biscuits or buy something from the work cafe.
So looking at my statistics, I’m happy with my activity and steps, but not so much with my calories burnt. Ignore the consumed column as tracking went out the window at the weekend. My sleep has improved slightly, but that is probably because it was a long weekend and I got some lie ins.
I read something weekend and it hit me hard – You can’t out exercise a bad diet. I know this is true and yet it is something I keep trying to do. I need to remember that I need to treat my body nicely and well and it in return with serve me well through life. At the moment I am punishing my body through food and exercise and this needs to change if I am ever going to lead the life I want to. Again this is something I am going to talk to my therapist about.
This is a new week and I’m going to start as I mean to go on. I am going to focus on my diet and the food I put into my body. I need food that will sustain it and as I have signed up for two 5 miles runs with running club and a triathlon I need to focus on getting myself fitter and in a good position to complete these events.