I haven’t been at 100% this last week or so. I’ve been okay, but a little low and that has made feel ill this last week, so I’ve been working at home and quite enjoying the quiet.
I know this is just a low period and it will disappear, but I also know I need to get myself out the door and fake it until it’s real again. But I also know I need to rest and relax and not beat myself up about not being 100%. It is about striking the right balance.
I think my ankle injury has triggered this period. I was all ready to get back to everything and it took me out. I also let myself take me out of everything else. The lack of exercise has definitely impacted on my mood and how I feel about myself.
I am reminding myself it is only temporary and have taken some time out while I’ve been at home to remind myself of the CBT techniques I find useful by reading Mind Over Matter and using the exercises.
Sometimes things get a bit overwhelming for anyone. A lot has happened in the last month and I have to remind myself how well I’ve been coping with things and just because I’m not giving everything my all does not mean I’m failing in anyway. I often revert to all-or-nothing thinking through habit so it good to get my thoughts and try to be more balanced.
I’ve been doing a lot of reading of books instead of being online and reading blogs. It’s been a nice thing to do and taken me back to when life felt simpler. It’s also stopped me from comparison thoughts, which is extremely helpful. I love blogs but they remind me of what I am trying to do and not making the progress I want to on, so I need to take a step back from them. My own blog is my outlet for my thoughts and enables me to sort through things. It doesn’t bother me if anyone reads it and that is nice. I’m not using this to succeed, but rather to get my thoughts out there and share them, which is something I’m not great at doing in person.
So I’m taking a step back form talking about my weight on here and focusing on my loves of coffee and books. I’ll continue to talk about my depression every so often as if I can help anyone else by being open about my journey then it is worth it. But from now on I want to focus on the positive fun things and let my life sort it self out around that.