Hermit Mode Enabled

We all have times when we just need some quiet alone time. I’ve been needing that a lot lately. I really have enabled hermit mode and I’ve been enjoying it. Although I Know I need a kick up the arse to get myself out this mode.


I’ve been doing a lot of reading, thinking, watching Son’s of Anarchy (non-stop). I’ve been spending a lot of time with my cats, although they are probably not as happy about this as I am.



I’ve had some plans cancelled on me for once I was really happy about it. I made the most being able to stay in my pyjamas all day.


Sometimes we all need to fully embrace our introverted side.



I’ve made the effort where I have wanted to in the last few weeks. I’ve gone to a few things I could have easily backed out of and enjoyed myself.


I could happily take off somewhere on my own and completely chill out and escape from reality. I definitely need to travel somewhere to go exploring soon.


But I know firstly I need to get my daily life in order to support myself and carve out the future I want to live.


The internet can be a great source of fun and can help you explain what you are feeling when you cannot articulate it yourself. It feels good to get this out and remind myself it’s okay to enable hermit mode for a while every now and then. I just need to make sure I can disable it too. For me that means focusing on getting active and treating myself right by being kind and eating well.

Predator Nutrition

It’s probably been clear I’ve been having a rough time these last few weeks or maybe months. I’ve let things get to me that I shouldn’t and now finally feel I am taking the action I need to take to move forward and move forward with what I believe in.

So I’ve signed up to my running club’s beginners group that starts in September and in the meantime I am focusing on my swimming and walking and just being active on a daily basis.

I also was lucky enough to get in touch with Predator Nutrition who very kindly sent me a box of goodies to support my swimming and triathlon journey.

Predator Nutrition sent me a box of pre-workout drinks and recovery bars. I plan to use these over the next couple of weeks to get myself back in gear. I’m really looking forward to the quest bars as have a few flavours before, but not all the ones I’ve been sent. I’m also looking forward to trying the pre-workout drinks to boost my energy and start my workouts off with a bang.

I’ll come back in a couple of weeks to let you know what I thought of the products and how my fitness goes. Only 6 weeks until I swim the Solent and I would like to be at the best fitness I can be right now.

It’s only a rut

Mental health is not clear cut. It’s not an easy road back once you’ve been down in a pit and everyday it takes work and understanding of where you are right now. An understanding that everything is temporary. The worst feelings in the world fade over time.

Right now I’m in a rut. I feel rubbish; exhausted and bored. I am really demotivated, but at the same time I feel more productive than ever. I am getting things done, but I suppose it’s that I don’t feel a connection to those things that is really bothering me.

I also feel left behind. It is as though everyone is moving forward with their lives and I’m just stood still, awaiting something to push me forward.

I don’t want to wait any more. I want to move forward on my own terms.

Deep down I am afraid. Afraid of everything; the future; the present; to love; to let go; to push myself into the unknown and take risks. I’m terrified that this is my life. That there is nothing more I will achieve.

At the same time I know this is not true.

It’s interesting as I am not despairing like I did when I was in the bottomless pit of depression.  It is more of a call to action. I want to do things for me and not because I feel I should or because of other people.

I’ve been angry in the last week. Angry at the world. Angry at myself. Angry at everyone. Anger seems to spur me into action though. It has given me the courage to stand up for what I believe in. To question the way things are down. To question myself on the way I living my life right now.

I’ve felt extremely vulnerable, but it has been okay. I’ve been supported and listened to, not shunned and ignored like my worst fears told me I would be. I felt happy and excited. I felt sad and determined. I felt everything in the last week.

Mental health is all about your feelings. Knowing they are temporary and not letting a single one dictate your life. Using them to take action when needed, but also letting them wash over you when they are not helping. There is nothing wrong with how you feel in any situation and not can tell you what you feel.

Writing has been helping me recently. Rather than focusing on output such as books reviews or product posts or keeping thing light and happy, I’m sharing myself with my writing. I still don’t think of myself as a writer, but more of a sharer and by doing so hopefully helping other people to help them selves.

Mental health is personal and you have to find the tools that work for you. I have multiple tools and each work in different ways. I know the tool I need to bring back and quickly is proper vigorous activity. I need to sweat and get back heart pounding.

Onwards and forward!

Adventures in Coffee… The Missed Ones

I’ve been so rubbish at keeping up with my coffee reviews and even my own notes I keep for my own benefit. It was easier when I had a subscription, but I stopped that a while a go and have yet to find another one to take it’s place. So I thought I would round up the ones I missed into their own post. I think they are form the last 6 months, but mainly since the London Coffee Festival.

A third example of the Starbuck Reserve selection from the London Coffee Festival.


The new roaster I found at the London Coffee Festival from Freehand Coffee.

The fourth Reserve from the Starbucks collection from the London Coffee Festival.

A single origin from Rave coffee, way back from January!

I was also given some free Taylor’s beans, the Kilimanjaro blend, and enjoyed, but not as an espresso. I’ve also been picking up sale beans from my local Whittard’s outlet shop.

I’m missing going out and finding new coffees to try and want to make this part of my exploring and travelling again. I’m going to find some roasters and shops I can visit on weekends over the next few months and also get back to my coffee blogging again. I also want to look at brewing methods and equipment as I know I am being lazy and want to start making amazing mugs of coffee overtime. So I also need something I can take to work to do this as well. Lots to think about!


Candy Japan July 2015

In my desire to start travelling again I have decided to stop a few subscriptions to save money. I love getting things each month, but at the same time I actually want to visit places and not just dream of them from afar. As there is a lag between paying for this subscription and receiving the packages I have one more month to go with my Candy Japan boxes!

I have loved these and although I’m not a big fan of sweets (Chocolate yes, jelly sweets not so much). This month was two packages containing so interesting stuff. The first package contained Plum Seed ‘soft’ Candy (LOVED), Shige Kicks Evolution Soda Gummies (Also loved, but have no idea what flavour they were), and Lotte Yokai Bubblegum (okay and haven’t had bubblegum in ages!). I took most to the cinema with me as snacks.

The second parcel contained Meiji Caramel (not sure about these), Lotte Ume and Lemon (liked these simple dummies), and Ultrman Battle Gummies (like normal gummy sweets). I didn’t have anyone to battle with the last ones, but it looked as those it would be fun, but I was again at the cinema with these, so not the best location to battle it out.

I would really recommend this subscription as it is different and fun. I love that it comes in two parcels a month as it means I can spread out my sweet consumption and really enjoy the ones that I have each time. Even though I am sad to stop this subscription I will make up for it when I finally get to visit Japan myself in the next couple of years!

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