I made sure I tried something that wasn’t available at home – Spiced Passionata – a flat white coffee spiced with cinnamon and chilli. A really nice warming drink, but also refreshing. I love a proper flat white and this took it to new level.

It must have been a new shop as it was so quiet when we went in, then the next day it was super busy!

It had the same things as the ones in the UK, but also some different things. Plus they served beer! My twitter friend Ellie found out that that there are ones in London that do this, and they are known as platinum stores. 

It was located in a lovely place near the amazing book shop.

See beer!

I also tried the cherry and white chocolate cake. This was really light, which was a nice surprise I love trying new places, but then it is nice to find something slightly familiar as a break to relax and reflect.

“With her mother in a coma and her father hell-bent on destroying the world, Clary is dragged deeper into New York’s terrifying underworld of werewolves, demons and the mysterious Shadowhunters. Discovering the truth about her past was only the beginning, now Clary must save the world from her own father – the rogue Shadowhunter Valentine. With two of the Mortal Instruments at his command, Valentine is assembling an army of demons to wage war on the council of Shadowhunters and destroy them once and for all. As the battle begins, Clary must face her darkest fears – and come to terms with her feelings for a boy she wishes wasn’t her brother.”

This is the second book in the Mortal Instruments series and it’s great! I loved the first one and was really happy to get the second one from my library on CD so soon after.

The story carried on where it left off from book one so I don’t want to give too much away. I can say the characters develop further and you get to know them all bit more. Also new characters are introduced, which open the world further as well as going to new places.  More of the history before the books is revealed as well, which helped me make sense of the current story a bit more.

The only thing that I feel uneasy about is the feelings Clary and Jace have for each, when they are brother and sister. It is hinted at there might be more to them than meets the eye, so I am intrigued rather than creeped out. There is definitely more to come.

I now really want to read book three and the books after, but I made myself not buy any more books until I’ve read the ones I’ve got already and I also wanted to read more classics, so I am trying to hold out until I can either get it from the library or from Audible.

I haven’t felt like this about a series for a while and I love it!

I completed my first triathlon and broke a tow doing it!

I admit it threw me off track from Sunday to Wednesday. A combination of celebrating, being immobile and feel in sorry for myself, meant I didn’t track as I went a long.

Unofficially I weighed in yesterday with a loss of 0.3lbs. It is in the right direction and I know I need to focus on my food more now as I haven’t got the vigorous exercise to fall back on for the few weeks. I now have to look hard at the foods I’m eating and concentrate on sticking to my points allowance. All my stats are down for the week as the second half of the week was immobile, but I am happy with my calorie burn and consumed stats

It’s definitely been a week of highs and lows.

I’ve learned I hate being stuck on the sofa – which totally contradicts the thoughts I have while at work all week

I’ve also learned I’m mentally stronger than I thought. I got through a triathlon with a broken toe!

The last few days have been hard, but I’m moving forward and focusing on healing and improving.

Plans for this week:

• get walking on my toe
• count and track all my food
• go swimming
• enjoy some movies and tv when resting my toe
• tidy and clean house
• cycle if I can

Enjoy the week everyone

My mum came along as photographer for the morning. It was nice and sunny from 6am (it rained in the afternoon) which made it nice to do the set up. I got ready and laid out everything i needed in the transition area. I was going into it with the aim of finishing, no matter what the time.

The lake temperature was about 13 degrees Celsius. I got in 5 minutes before my wave to get the initial shock of the cold out the way. I’m glad I did as it was cold and lots of people in the earlier waves had had to do breaststroke.

We started off with feet in the water. I went to the front, but I went off too fast and got to the first buoy and needed to breathe, so had to do breaststroke. I thought I had gotten used to the temperature, but it was a longer enough swim for me to warm my lungs up properly, so as I got out of breathe my lungs couldn’t expand further because of the cold. That’s the only part I was disappointed in, but I knew it was longer enough for my swimming style.

I got out of the lake well, but then fell over (I think this is where I fractured my toe) but got up and ran to transition. It was great having lots of people from my running club there marshalling. This is where I found it hard to breathe and get my breath back and steady. It took me 2 minutes in transition. On the way out of transition my friend Linz was there to cheer me on, which was great. The hardest part was running with the bike and being so cold. I kept going and although lots of people ran past, I kept going.

The bike was the hardest part for me. I got overtaken by lost of people early on and it just felt long. It took me 54 minutes, which is under the hour I thought it would take. On the way round I thought my toe was numb form the cold, or my trainer was too tight, I never imagined I had hurt it quite so bad. But I finally finished the 20km and came back into transition to see my mum waiting.

It was so nice to have lots of friendly faces there who would shout my name as I went past. It spurred me on.

I got back into transition and was out again in 40 seconds to run one 2.5km lap around the lake. This was hard and I was so glad I was only doing the one lap as mentally I don’t think I could have gone round again. There was a water station with2 running club members there and they cheered me on as I went past. I finished to about 10 people from running club there at the end and my mum taking pictures. I was so happy to have finished and have run the whole lap without stopping, which was my aim.

They had run out of medal, but I didn’t mind, I was so happy to have finished! My running club captain is the one who organised it, so I’ll get one to add to my display soon

It wasn’t until the above moment when I stopped and was calming down and realised I’d done it, when my toe started to hurt. I thought I had just bruised it so carried on and packed up my things and drove home. I then went to the cinema to relax and watch Iron Man 3 (excellent) and then came home to find the bruise was coming up. By the evening my tow was swelling up and getting harder to walk on. It wasn’t until the morning when I thought something was wrong, so off to A&E I went and came back with crutches and a fractured toe. It could take 4-6 weeks to heal properly, but I’m hoping sooner rather than later!

Update! Got my medal today

1. Move into my own place - Complete!
2. Adopt a cat – I’m definitely doing this in June or July after I’ve had laser eye surgery to avoid allergies
3. Do a Super Sprint Triathlon - 400m swim, 20km bike, 2.5km run - Signed up for the short super sprint on the 12th May!
4. Take part in running club events and volunteer to help when I can’t take part
   1. High Worth 5 = 54:50
   2. Broad Town 5
5. Do the Parkrun once a month and volunteer as a marshall
   1. January = 38:19
   2. February = 34:40
   3. March = 34:42
   4. April = 33:51
6. Bake more bread – put a bread baking book on my WW goal reward list
7. Complete the CBT Journal for Dummies - Got delayed with the move and getting proper CBT therapist, but will pick up again
8. Read more classic books as part of my 2013 reading challenge - I’m going to make sure I do this over the remainder of the year
9. Stick to my budget and save for holidays and house things - this is more important than ever!
10. Take a bike maintenance course – went to Origin Cycles to learn how to change a tyre and will keep trying to learn bits and pieces over time.
11. Join a WW meeting and work towards goal - decided to do this in May
12. Blog – maybe a redesign  - Complete!
13. Plan budget friendly trips – Booked to go to Portugal this month, then it will be exploring locally
14. Try acupuncture – this is going to depend on finances
15. Keep working to create and maintain good mental health - Working on this and it has really become an important aspect of my life
16. Join a coffee club
    1. Made this a reward for WW goals
    2. Also bought Kopi nas a present for my Dad, who has given it to me
17. Take part in the Masters galas and club championships
    1. February Gala – 2 Golds and 2 Silvers!
    2. Next one in July
18. Work out savings plan for trip to Japan - this is on hold
19. Catch up on Greys Anatomy (been watching Castle non stop)
20. Get regular haircuts - Going well
21. Move forward with my life and make new friends – making work friends
22. Do my best at my new job
    1. Making my password mantras as have to type them in multiple times day
23. Keep my commute healthy - Felt better this last week as the evenings are now lighter (worried about next winter though)
24. Listen to Harry Potter audiobooks - Books one, two and three, and four done
25. Get rid of stuff I no longer need when I move - Complete!
26. Use the mantra ‘F**k It’ – trying to remember this
27. Take up pilates or yoga – might have to get a dvd to do this one
28. Create photo albums for all my trips
29. Try two new recipes a month from my cook books
    1. April – Chilli
    2. May – Braised Leeks and Rainbow Kale

I am enjoying working through my list. It reminds me each month what I set out for the year ahead.

I was very active last week, and although had a bad evening Saturday and not the best Sunday I was within all my points for the week. I’m really happy with my loss, but part of me thinks I didn’t deserve it – I need to work on this!

So the meeting today (although I weighed in yesterday) was all about having the right support. I was the only one at the lunchtime meeting, which was weird, but also nice as Alison, the leader, still did the talk, but it was more personal – shout out to her as she is doing the moonwalk in London this weekend Go Alison!

This is an area of my life I want to improve. I’ve got fitness support with my swimming and running club. I’ve got family support from my parents and sisters. I’ve got penpal support from Ingrid. I’ve got girl friends support every so often, but this is where I feel something is missing. I’ve spoken about being lonely before and I’m making small steps each week to improve this.

So over the next week I’ve got swimming and running club. I’ve got my mum coming to my triathlon with me (even getting up at 6am on a Sunday!), plus swimming and running club friends there on the day. I’m going to make the effort to stay for a drink or two after running club sessions next week. I’m also going to get my friend Linz to the gym! So I definitely feel like I’m being social and not hiding away – just got to keep reminding myself of that!

Already started this week feeling motivated and ready for my triathlon this weekend – Wish me Luck!

This is one my favourite books. It follows on from book three in a way that makes the dangers more real. This is the first time you see actual death in the series. It starts to grow up and is no longer a bedtime story, but rather a thriller and mystery. In the third book things were not what they seemed and this books carries on with that. There are questions along the way over who is good and who is bad, but nothing is clear until the end, when it is too late.

I love Stephen Fry. I love his voices for the characters. I also love that you can tell he is enjoying reading the books out loud. There are some audiobooks I’ve felt the narrator has only been reading the book, rather than enjoying it with the reader.

I will say it again, listening to audiobooks have made my commutes extremely more enjoyable than it would be otherwise. I am so glad my library offers a wide variety of books and that Audible has made it affordable to buy the latest books.

If you have the chance to listen to Harry Potter – do it!

So this was the coffee Kopi sent out in April – Sumatra Aceh Organic.

What I love about coffee clubs is that they send you tasting notes and information about where the coffee comes from. This coffee comes from a village called Gegarang in Indonesia. It was processed in the traditional way known as Gilling Basah (wet grinding). It is nice to read about where the coffee comes from and how they make it what it is.

The coffee smelt amazing, like most newly opened coffees. I like Sumatran coffees as they tend to be on the rich and bold side. This one is stated as having chocolate, tangerine and vanilla flavours. This is because the coffee is planted amongst chillies, red beans and other tropical plants.

I ground only what I needed for a nice French press and brewed as directed for 3 minutes. I tried the coffee black and then with milk. Both extremely nice. I learnt from my time in Seattle that it is best to try coffee at several temperatures and sometimes they taste better once cooled down slightly.

This is a very nice coffee. I will keep the notes as I think this is one, with Guatemala beans I will keep a look out for.I am looking forward to extending my coffee club membership once I reach a weight loss goal

I joined WW and feel good about this. I’m not treating it as a diet, but rather learning how to live my life with food as not the enemy. I need to learn to respect it and myself and having some rules to follow makes it easier for me to break some habits and fingers crossed the binge cycle. By doing this with my CBT I feel I’m doing the right thing for myself.

I struggled Saturday. Something happened I’d been dreading. I tried out the urge surfing for an hour and did well, but came to the decision to go and get myself a dinner I would love. I ended up binging on a pack of biscuits, but that is nothing compared to what I could have done. I made the decision as I ended up shaking and pacing and feeling sick. It was a horrible experience. I have nothing to compare it to, but think it has happened before, but not for a long time. It was scary, but showed me I can get through things I’ve been dreading and come out the other side. I need to find another way to cope rather than turning to food, but I feel I made good progress and didn’t go straight to food.

I’m really happy with my Ki Fit numbers this week

I’ve decided to weigh in twice a week. Once on a Monday and then with WW on a Wednesday or Thursday (depending on work). I’ve dropped a couple of pounds since last Monday and feel good as I didn’t change anything but the amount I ate. I am sticking with eating as much fresh food as I can and preparing my lunches and weekday dinners in advance.

The only thing I would like improve still is my sleep. I think I need to stop watching tv in bed. I think this will make me stay up a bit later and go to bed when I’m tired rather than when I want to lay down. That’s my aim this week!

Only one week left until my triathlon! I’m also thinking about signing up for a Tough Mudder with a friend. It will be crazy hard work, but I think I would enjoy the challenge. I’ll let you know what I decide

You have to ask for them to use this in your drinks, I’m not sure why, but you do.

I tried it in a latte and found it nice and smooth, but with re flavour than I have noticed from previous lattes. I’m not sure what flavours exactly (something I want to learn to pick out), but slightly stronger overall.

I would suggest giving this a go to see if you notice any difference.

After my trip to Portugal I want to find independent coffee shops where I work & live, so I need to do some research and get exploring

I loved the bottles that were on display in the reception.

Also love the theme inside. Lots of black and silver with purple candle surrounded in coffee beans. I love this idea for displaying cables!

We sat by the window so it was difficult to get a good picture of both of us.

But we got better ones side on. We were given five wines to taste – two table wines and three ports.

Plus we had a quite a few chocolates to enjoy with it.

The table wines were nice, I preferred the red to the white though. Then we had  one white, ruby and tawny port. Each glass were supposed to hold tastes, but we felt they gave us a whole glass of each, so it was very much worth the month. They went through each glass when they brought them to the table, but left no notes so I quickly forgot what I was supposed to be tasting, but we got by just fine.

I wanted to bring some back, but as I only took hand luggage I could buy it here, but luckily they sold it in the airport

I’m going to keep the bottle and box as I think it makes a nice addition to my bookshelf

I bought this book after seeing it quite a few times while wandering book shops over winter. I finally bought it when I was given a book token.

It’s a lovely story about a recovering addict getting his life back on track and after meeting then adopting a ginger cat he named Bob his life becomes more focused and he wants to move forward.

It’s an easy, quick read, at only took me a few hours.

This book has made me decide I am definitely going to get a cat in the next few months. The companionship and responsibility appeals to a part of me that has been left neglected in recent years. I think that taking care of a living creature will give me focus to, but also company and structure.

This story shows the good in people and that we can put others before ourselves, but benefit from it in good ways. It also shows that some people are not worth your time and can provide the insight into moving on to something new.

This story was about real life, without being an autobiography or preachy. It’s probably not the whole story, but the bits worth telling.

Overall I really enjoyed it and think if you like cats or want a nice story to restore your faith in humanity in small ways then give this book a read. It made me smile, worry and laugh.

I need help losing weight and I will need help keeping it off. That’s one of the many reasons why I have signed up to WeightWatchers. I’ve tried on my own and done okay. The first time I did WeightWatchers I was two stone heavier than I am now, so I feel really good I haven’t put it all back on before admitting I need help.

The scary part of the process is signing up. I felt nervous as I didn’t know anyone or what the leader would be like, but I still wanted to go. I got there a bit late as did not realise the time stated was the actual talk time, rather than when weighing starts, but they were nice and let me in then did the weigh in. It was nice to be back in a group who are on their own journeys.

I tried to pay attention to the talk, but was nervous about weighing. However it was nice listening, rather than actively joining in. The talk this week was about outdoor eating, now that spring has arrived and summer is on the way. It got us thinking outside the box of normal BBQ staples and thinking about other things that would be much more plan friendly.

I’m treating this about real food. I am not going to get sucked into all the products they do, but rather eat as I have been, just less of it.

I’ve still got to look through all the things you get when you join tonight, but wanted share that I am on 35 ProPoints a day and will be looking and learning about the Places and Routines aspects of the approach at the weekend.

They were also running a free gift offer at the moment that I upgraded to the pack of books as I love having hard copies of things.

My aim for my first week is to track everything and reduce what I’m eating to stick to the ProPoints. I am going to use the Journal as I think writing it down is better for me than tracking online. I will use the online tool while at work and other parts of the App on my phone to monitor things.  I also plan to also track my activity to see how much I do, but I am not going to use those points. The first week for me is about learning the plan and working out where I need to make changes to make it easier for me to stick to.

I lost 2.6lbs this week after putting on 4lbs last week. So that is great, but I was really trying.

I forgot to do a screen shot of last week as well so here are two weeks

I have made good progress on my activity and steps, and also improved my sleep a bit! Food tracking wise has not been good at all. I’ve been aware of what I’m eating, but not counting calories. I want to start WeightWatchers this week and am ready to commit back to that aspect of losing weight. I think tracking is one of the main influences on how much I eat, but I do not get on with electronic tracking, I am going to keep it focused on writing it all down. I would like to keep inputing it into MFP, but I am focusing on writing it down so it sinks in. It’s like revision – I remember it better once I have written it down myself.

So my aims for this week is to get to the gym twice as I’ve been slacking in this area of my fitness and have noticed how my strength is reducing in my shoulders and legs, so need to get back on that. I am going to go to a WeightWatchers meeting one lunchtime and then sit down and work out how I am going to make the time to so stay organised. I am also going to make time to do my CBT work this week as that has been left since I went on holiday, so need to go back through it. My other goal is to learn how to change a tyre on my bike – only a slight thing seeing as my triathlon is in two weeks!

Hope you are all having a good week. I’m starting the week off after my running session watching The Hobbit

It was so nice to get away and that it was warm was an added bonus.

Porto in Portugal is a lovely city that impressed me greatly and I would recommend anyone to visit. Its a beautiful city on the river and close to the ocean. We walked everywhere to explore the city. It is very hilly, but worth it to get close to the river and then the views from higher up.

We stayed new the main square, which seemed to be the centre for arts.

The main bridge was designed by the man who designed the Eiffel Tower. It was lovely to sit by the river and watch the world go by.

The bakeries were amazing! So many different cakes and breads. We tried a variety over the weekend – no wonder I put on weight, but worth it!

There was also an amazing bookshop which I could have stayed in for a really long time if it hadn’t been so busy. If it had been quiet it would have been a really peaceful place to explore.

I love all the red terracotta roofs.

We went a on river boat trip and also Port Tasting, but I’ll cover that in another post

We spent a lovely afternoon at the Crystal Palace gardens.

Lots of the churches have amazing tiled walls.

Overall it was a lovely weekend away. Four nights is perfect for a European city break. Porto held more wonders than I had expected and it is a lovely place place to visit with reasonable prices too.

This week was a good week in terms that I went on holiday, but bad in terms of weight. I put on 4 lbs.

I have felt so uncomfortable in myself these past few weeks. Uncomfortable in my clothes. Uncomfortable doing things I enjoy. I don’t want to feel like this any more and need to take action.

I have been having a think. My plan is not working. It hasn’t failed, but it is not working how I would like it. It’s like a science experiment when you know the results you want and just have to figure the right way to get them.

I have come to realise that my idea of being able to manage my own eating and activity is the hardest thing for me. Activity is good, but food is not. I have tried to input my own rules, but I continue to bend and break them for instant gratification.

I need structure. I need to spend time planning out everything and then not having to think about it the rest of the time. The only down side of this is that it is a bit all or nothing. I notice this, but I may not be able to change that part of me and therefore I need to work with it.

I am working on my psychology with food with therapy, but I also need to look at the physical side of food. The decisions to what I buy and therefore what I actually eat.

I have decided to join WeightWatchers. I plan to attend weekly meetings for the community support. I am going to plan out my meals and snacks and then be more laid back when eating out. I will plan in things I enjoy as to not deprive myself. I also want to stir clear of trigger foods, like chocolate, that I can binge on without thinking. I need rules and structure. I need boundaries. Living on my own has shown me I have no boundaries really other than the ones I impose on myself, but I am not very good at sticking to all of those!

I am going to combine this with my therapy work and make good progress to my 29 by 29 goal of developing a me I love. My goal is to learn maintenance. Yes I want to lose weight, but I goal is to learn how to keep it off. This is very different for me. Previously it has all been about getting it off and what it would like then. Now it’s about learning how to live the rest of my life. If that means I will be following WeightWatchers for the rest of my life I accept that. Food and eating may be one area I will always struggle with, but I can take action to reduce its impact.

I feel strange about this. It’s been a hard decision to make and tough to admit to myself. I am nervous and scared, but know I want to feel comfortable as me. Weight is only one part of me, but I let it dictate how I feel. I let food rule me. I have to take back some of the control and know that WeightWatchers can help me do that. It will provide the support I need to learn and grow and develop me naturally.

I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing as part of my 3 month plan and 6 month plan. I’m just refining it further. I’m still using my Ki fit to monitor my activity and calories burnt. I want to track and compare both as I want to ensure my energy levels are maintained with the exercise I do, but within rules.

Time for the next phase

I made a change from my normal authors and reads and downloaded a book I fancied seeing what it is was like now its been made into a movie.

“Six shots. Five dead.
A heartland city thrown into terror. But within hours the cops have it solved. A slam-dunk case. Apart from one thing. The accused gunman refuses to talk except for a single phrase:
Get Jack Reacher for me.
Reacher lives off the grid. He’s not looking for trouble. But sometimes trouble looks for him. What could connect the ex-military cop to this psychopathic killer?”

I liked this book. It was very different for me, but similar to Kathy Riechs in terms of crime thriller. This was the 9th in the series and normally I would start at the beginning, but I read some reviews and they seemed to say that it doesn’t really matter about what order you read them in. I have to admit I didn’t really learn anything about the main character Jack Reacher in this book.

The story was interesting. I couldn’t work out how it would end, but they let you in on who did it early on, but not why. That was the bit I couldn’t work out and that kept me engaged.

I was only disappointed that the book ended very quickly. I don’t like when you don’t learn much about the characters after things take place. I am intrigued to read more of this series to see if more character development takes place and I think they will be entertaining and interesting to read.

“A newborn baby is found wedged in a vanity cabinet in a rundown apartment near Montreal. Dr Temperance Brennan, forensic anthropologist to the province of Quebec, is brought in to investigate. While there, she discovers the mummified remains of two more babies within the same room. Shocked and distressed, Tempe must use all her skills and inner strength to focus on the facts. But when the autopsies reveal that the children died of unnatural causes, the hunt for the mother – a young woman with a seedy past and at least three aliases – is on. The trail leads Tempe to Yellowknife, a cold, desolate diamond-mining town on the edge of the Arctic Circle, where her quest for the truth only throws up more questions, more secrets, and more dead bodies. Taking risks and working alone, Tempe refuses to give up until she has discovered why the babies died. But in such a hostile environment, can she avoid being the next victim?”

This story started out as a simple hunt for a mother who had killed her newborn babies, but turned into something much more complicated. I think this is what I like about them maybe. It’s that the story develops are time goes by and as new evidence is found. It is very much about following the evidence and not always about following the people, as that comes for following the evidence. I also like that they are smart and explain things are they come along, not just assuming the reader knows everything, but also not being patronising. The main character often has to do research and parts of the story are all about this. For example I learned about the diamond and mining industry in Canada. Also I loved that this one was set in Alberta and thought of my friend Ingrid when it went into details of certain places

There were definitely parts of the story that seems far fetched. I felt some parts were made as though they could be used for the TV show Bones. But I didn’t really mind as it put action into the story.

The female narrator was good for the female characters, but I did find it hard to distinguish the male characters sometimes. I think that is my one pet peeve of audiobooks, is that there is usually only one narrator. I would love to see a different person for each character. It may be completely annoying, but I would give it a listen.

It was nice to listen to something a bit different last week. I started out listening to something else, but the narrator got completely on my nerves so got out my latest Audible purchase instead and was very glad I did!

Why is it so easy to eat 3000 calories?!!!

Anyway, I lost a pound, so I’m happy as it’s back in the right direction.

I kept an average calorie deficit of over 600 calories a day so it worked out well. I burned a lot this last week too. I did have a very active weekend. I need to find a balance between activity and fuelling myself well enough to do all of it without having to binge. My activity and steps were great again this week. Sleep has not really improved and I’m not sure what to do about it. I’m planning on speaking to my doctor about it again.

I think tiredness is a big factor in my binges. I noticed this week that I was tired and couldn’t be bothered to cook or organise, so went for quick and easy. I craved carbs and sugar. It was interesting as I was listening to the latest Jillian Michaels podcast and she was talking about it you think about eating protein, like chicken or eggs, and really don’t want it, you are just craving and not actually hungry. I need to try this. Plus have protein snacks available at the weekends. I get organised for most of the week, but the remainder of the week from Thursday tends to fall apart as I get tired. It’s been interesting to notice this about myself and now I know there are things I can do about it.

This week I’m off to Portugal to visit my friend Ingrid and I cannot wait! We will be sampling the delights of Portugal and walking – lots of walking Ingrid! My goals are to track everything and walk. Also to try and stick to 3 meals and a snack as much as possible. But to also have fun and relax and enjoy my time off and spending time with my friend

The race started off at a local school and we all got ready. I almost ran in just my vest, but then decided not to try anything new and put my long sleeved top back on. I’m glad I did as it was fairly windy.

At 11am we headed out to the road and started the 5 mile course. It was on roads all the way and fairly flat for the first 4 miles, with some nice gently meandering down hills. The cars were pretty good at going past slowly apart form on the main road at miles 4 to 5, but we were all spread out by then so no problems.

My aim was to run the whole way and I did! I was so happy I ran up the hill, everyone had been talking about. The hill wasn’t too bad, but the problem is that it’s at mile 4 and doesn’t stop until towards the end when we headed back into the school! Everyone I was running with walked once we reached the hill, but I kept going and slowly made my way up. It was hard, but I did it. That’s where they decided to take the club photos!

I actually like these photos. I managed to smile and kept running as there were a couple of team members cheering us on at that point and knew it wasn’t far to go.
It was hard at this point because the people who had walked up the hill were starting to overtake again, but I was running out of steam. This is where the horrible thoughts started appearing and it was a struggle all the way to the finish. The hardest part of this the whole race was the last 300 metres! I headed into the school and thought I was done, but I had to run round the field before finishing. The only thing that kept me going were my team mates cheering me on. It was so hard, but I kept going and did it!

54 minutes 50 seconds!

I was aiming for 1 hour 10 minutes, and did it 15 minutes faster! I still can’t believe it. I feel great and so proud of myself. I have another medal to add to my collection too

I am so glad I joined my local running club. I feel part of a team and group that supports each other. I have come so much further than I thought I could have when I started running last August. I’m Proud to be a Hound!

I feel a lot better this week than I did the last couple of weeks. I have gotten out on my bike and have almost done the distance required for the day. I’ve also done a few brick workouts, going from the bike to a run and gym/bike days. I feel I will now be able to complete the event, which is all I want to do!

My main worry the last week has been what to wear!

I’ve been looking online, but having no joy. So I took a chance this morning and headed over to a shop I’d been told about a while ago. However it was no longer that shop, but now a cycling/triathlon shop – Perfect!

I got there just after it opened and the guy (I wish I’d go his name) asked what I was looking for and I just decided to be honest and say what I was doing and what I was worried about. He took me round the shop and showed me different things and said to come back with my bike and they would show me how to change a tire if it goes out on the event. He was super nice and made me feel comfortable asking about things I am not sure about. No judgement, just encouragement for giving things a go. I feel so much better and a lot less worried than I did before. If you want a shop in Swindon for triathlon go to Origin Cycles!

I came away with something to wear too! A proper triathlon suit for less than £40! It fits perfectly and came with a sports bra (which I’m not going to wear as it’s not supportive enough for me for running).

I also got a new water bottle and trying some SIS electrolyte powders – the tropical was nice, and still have the lemon/lime to try

I also got a pair of triathlon shorts as they were on sale at £10. Though they would come in super handy for running or biking during the summer.

The lovely guy in the shop was also telling me some things that are nice to have, but will make a huge different – a race belt (need to get) and elastic laces! Haven’t put these on my trainers yet, but I’m guessing they will be great for the transition.

It does feel weird wearing a tri suit but I took it out for a test cycle today and loved it. I also thought I didn’t look hideous in it!

it does show every curve, but, it didn’t ride up, it supported all over and was comfortable! Win win win So based on today I am actually looking forward to doing this triathlon. It’s going to be hard, but I like a challenge and to push myself. Plus I’ve got my eye on a slightly longer one in September if this one goes well. Fingers crossed!

I got this tea a while a go and found it in the cupboard today as I was searching for something different to have after dinner. I fancied something sweet , but needed to up my fluid intake and I’m glad I opened this box.

I’m not a big fan of plain camomile, but add a sweet flavour like maple or honey and I’m happy. I let the tea brew for 5 minutes and then let it cool down before tasting. I find trying to drink things like this too hot affects the taste. I let it cool and then really enjoyed it as an evening drink.

It wasn’t too sweet, just enough to take the edge off the camomile. I love maple, so the smell and taste suit me well. Overall an excellent find! Plus I loved the tag on the tea bag

I listened to this book over the last two weeks – Easter made it take longer than normal

I really liked this book! I think it is a new engrossing series I want to finish pretty quick!

‘Sixteen-year-old Clary Fray is an ordinary teenager, who likes hanging out in Brooklyn with her friends. But everything changes the night she witnesses a murder, committed by a group of teens armed with medieval weaponry. The murderous group are Shadowhunters, secret warriors dedicated to driving demons out of this dimension and back into their own. Drawn inexorably into a terrifying world, Clary slowly begins to learn the truth about her family – and the battle for the fate of the world.’

The only thing that let this book down for me was that the narrator made Clary, the main character quite whiny and that annoyed me as I don’t think if I had read the book I would have made her sound like that. Also the guys came across as a bit obnoxious. But my friend Ingrid has told me the next narrator is better – fingers crossed! I’ve got myself on the library waiting list for the next two in the series.

So it follows the same lines as some other young adult series, where the main character loses a parent and goes on a journey to find out what happened in the end find themselves a long the way. It’s clique but I love these kind of stories. I think imagine myself as the heroine saving the day and falling for the hero, which is much more exciting than my actual teenage years!

It’s an interesting world we glimpse in the first book. And I mean glimpse and it’s not until near the end you find out how vast the world is. It feels like it is all happening in our world, but in the shadows hides another world. I hope the next books take us further into that world and how the characters adapt to it.

I guessed part of the story, but there was still a twist I didn’t see coming, which was great! I have the tendency to guess what is coming and sometimes I wish I could just go with the story rather than think ahead. So I liked that this one caught me by surprise

I can’t wait for the next one!

1. Move into my own place - Complete!
2. Adopt a cat – I’m thinking June/July after I’ve had laser eye surgery to avoid allergies
3. Do a Super Sprint Triathlon - 400m swim, 20km bike, 2.5km run - Signed up for the short super sprint on the 12th May!
4. Take part in running club events and volunteer to help when I can’t take part – I’ve signed up for two 5 miles events in April and June and thinking a 10km for July
5. Do the Parkrun once a month and volunteer as a marshall
   1. January = 38:19
   2. February = 34:40
   3. March = 34:42
6. Bake more bread – yet to start this
7. Complete the CBT Journal for Dummies - Got delayed with the move and getting proper CBT therapist, but will pick up again
8. Read more classic books as part of my 2013 reading challenge - i’m going to make sure I do this over the remainder of the year
9. Stick to my budget and save for holidays and house things - this is more important than ever!
10. Take a bike maintenance course – been looking for one, but no joy yet
11. Join a WW meeting and work towards goal - I created my 3 month and 6 month plan so this has changed a bit
12. Blog – maybe a redesign  - Complete!
13. Plan budget friendly trips – Booked to go to Portugal this month, then it will be exploring locally
14. Try acupuncture – this is going to depend on finances
15. Keep working to create and maintain good mental health - Working on this and it has really become an important aspect of my life
16. Join a coffee club - it’s one of my big weight loss rewards for the next few months
17. Take part in the Masters galas and club championships
    1. February Gala – 2 Golds and 2 Silvers!
    2. Next one in June
18. Work out savings plan for trip to Japan - this is on hold
19. Catch up on Greys Anatomy (been watching Castle non stop)
20. Get regular haircuts - Going well
21. Move forward with my life and make new friends – making work friends
22. Do my best at my new job - I am enough - Still think this is going well.
23. Keep my commute healthy - Felt better this last week as the evenings are now lighter (worried about next winter though)
24. Listen to Harry Potter audiobooks - Books one, two and three done
25. Get rid of stuff I no longer need when I move – Complete!
26. Use the mantra ‘F**k It’ – trying to remember this
27. Take up pilates or yoga – might have to get a dvd to do this one
28. Create photo albums for all my trips
29. Try two new recipes a month from my cook books - Now I’ve got my veg box coming each week I am making more of an effort to try new combinations, but would like to sit down and take the time to decide on some recipes.

Overall good progress this month. A few things are on hold due to finances, but not ruled out forever – who knew buying a house was so costly! Then other things have come a long like being told I have to wear glasses all the time – hence the laser eye surgery booking. This is not a bad thing though, I just need to prioritise and explore locally more. I’m happy, nervous and excited that I’ve signed up for a few events over the next couple of months. It gives me something to work towards and keep me focused. I’m really looking forward to heading over to Portugal to see Ingrid. I think the coming month is going to be a good one too!

I was really please with my average calorie burn over the week and also with my activity and steps! I went swimming, running, to the gym and did 30 Day Shred! I also got my bike fixed and went for a 5 mile and 9 mile rides at the weekend. I’ve got this part down

The calories consumed reflect the good days, but no the two bing days. I’ve set myself the task of sticking to 1800 calories for six days this week and then having one day where I can have more – that will be Saturday I think. Trying a different tactic by setting myself a rule. I tried using maintain a 1000 calorie deficit, but I really struggle with it and tend to each too much. So I’m working on reducing my snacking and having three meals a day and one snack – I’ve been listening to Jillian Michaels!

Speaking of Jillian Michaels I listened to her podcast from a few weeks ago where she had a caller and was talking about why we stay overweight. It got me thinking about what does staying at my current weight afford me? I would love to say nothing at all, but I know that is not true. It is a protection in some form. I think from rejection mainly. It is an excuse for not doing things or not being the best at something. I found it really interesting to think about this without judgement, just honesty.

I am definitely afraid of rejection and it is something I am working on with my CBT therapist. The session last week touched on it and it was so hard to talk about. My post from easter weekend really got me thinking. I keep so busy that it stops me from feeling or thinking about things that are really getting to me. I didn’t realise how lonely I was until I was on my own without the option to do something else. That scared me and not in a good way.

This week I’ve planned my meals and fitness and feel positive. I want to do what is good for myself and treat myself well. I want to value myself and make them internal to myself. I spend my life seeing myself how I think the world does and I want to change that. I want to know deep inside I am good enough being me. I want to know I can challenge myself and not feel afraid of failing, but a willingness to take risks and try new things. I want to be myself around people – those I know and those I don’t yet. I want to not be afraid of rejection for being me. I want to stop using my weight as an excuse and learn new ways of protecting myself, while allowing myself to be vulnerable and real.

I feel good.