All posts by Angie

Going back to where I started…

I’ve been thinking a lot about blogging recently and whether I actually want to stop or not. I have found I do enjoy doing it and I’m not up for trying to change to get more readers or make it anything more than an hobby.

However I have been thinking about what I want my content to be and realised I have moved away from what I started out doing and what I enjoyed writing about – the adventures in life, whether big or small!

I’ve been caught up in my own life too mush recently and forgotten about spending time doing things I enjoy and then being able to reflect and share. So I’m going back to where I started this blog and focusing on my love of tea, coffee, and exploring!

So I treated myself to some new tea and coffee to try and will be sharing my thoughts and learnings about making damn good drinks. Fingers crossed I’ll also get to go exploring more places soon too.

Things I’m learning in my 30s

I’m 32 and I am starting to notice all the online articles on websites I’ve read for years are either aimed at people in their 20s or 30s specifically. It is like there is a solid line once you hit 30 that means nothing before is relevant anymore. I don’t think this is true.

There are lots of things I’m still interested in from my 20s and if anything I am less bothered about what other people think about it. I’ve been struggling and definitely feel like I’ve been transitioning to a new version of myself. Maybe that has something to do with being in my 30s, maybe it’s a transition everyone goes through at different points in their lives. I feel like I’ve learnt a lot in the last couple of years; about myself, about other people,  some good, some not so good.

So I decided to note down the first 10 things that came to mind:

  1. Putting yourself first can be met with resistance from those close to you
  2. It’s okay being the last single friend
  3. Money doesn’t mean much, it’s about what you do with it
  4. Comparison is your worst enemy
  5. Your passions don’t have to be your work
  6. Enjoying your job and workplace is important for your sanity
  7. Thinking about the future is important, just don’t get stuck waiting for it
  8. Therapy is worth the cost
  9. Quality over quantity every time (I’m still learning this with food)
  10. Your are good enough exactly as you are!

Depression in my reality

Everyone will have a different experience with depression. It manifests itself in so many different ways it can be hard to know what is really depression or not. It’s confusing and frustrating.

Depression often lies, but at the same time I find it makes me face some hard truths that need to faced to move forward.

I wanted to share my experience. I find the more I talk about it the easier it becomes to be aware of it. It becomes less scary. It becomes easier to name and take action to feel different (I will not say better as it is not always better).  I want to continue to share my experience to show it can happen to anyone and that there is no shame in speaking out.

This is my experience currently:

  1. Tired – ALL THE TIME!
  2. Food is my best friend and my worst enemy
  3. I feel like an impostor in most things I do
  4. Fear of people I know (not really of strangers)
  5. I cannot multi-task – everything take effort
  6. I feel abandoned and left out (shout about my independence)
  7. Procrastination is prominent, even though I know its unhelpful
  8. Therapy is hard, but beneficial
  9. It’s fucking annoying when people want to fix you
  10. You can still live a normal life on the outside

Why do I blog?

I decided to have  a bit of blog break as I couldn’t find my motivation to write posts for a while. I felt I had nothing to say on this platform. I felt other people were saying exactly what I wanted to in better ways.  So I focused on sharing what I was reading on Twitter.

This has been great as I felt I connected a bit more on Twitter by commenting and replying to posts.

I think I’ve been more conscious of how I use my time and how I want to articulate my thoughts.

I don’t think of myself as a blogger. Yes, I have a blog, but I don’t use it for anything other than recording and sharing my own thoughts. I don’t want it to be anything more than that really. I’ve been following some new-to-me bloggers and vloggers and I think I got a little bored. So many have similar content. The ones I love have their own rules and niche. They are interesting and insightful. I don’t think I’m one of those either, but if I was aiming for anything it would be to be talking about the things that matter to me.

So I’ve taken the pressure off myself and that has felt nice.  I feel like I do want to keep blogging though. I’m just not going to set a schedule. When I think I want to say or share something I will.  I’m not going to worry about photos or length. I am just going to focus on what I want to say.

I want to talk about depression and mental health.

I want to share my opinions and show my thought process.

I want to share photos of my cats, coffee, and yummy food.

I want to have a space to express myself as myself.

So that is what I’m going to do.

Paused

I’ve not posted for a while. I’m not sure why. I had a plan for the month of June, but didn’t get around to writing anything. Even my bullet journal fell by the way side.

I think I just needed to put this on pause for while.

I’ve been working through some quite tough things in therapy, gone back on medication, and been super busy in work, it’s felt like something had to give a little. 

I have got back into to fitness though and that’s been helped by going with a couple of friends making it social and fun. 

Taking care of ourselves is not always easy and right now is taking a lot of focus and time. It is worth it and taking steps to develop my self love and body positivity are key. 

I’m bound to be back to blogging when it feels right, I just don’t know when that might be. I’ll always be on twitter and Instagram though so find me there! 

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