I’ve been quiet on the blog for a while. I’ve sat down a few times to write something, but nothing felt right, so I let myself be quiet and focus on other things.
It has been busy though; so busy that it’s time to make sure I take a break. I’ve had the odd day here and there where I have hibernated away and not left the house. I’ve been dwelling on things too. Always things I don’t have any control over and therefore have no need to worry about, and yet I do.
I’ve been being super hard on myself and after what I was calling a ‘rubbish run’ last week, my friend Sonia said straight to my face; ‘STOP! Stop being so hard on yourself!’ It was exactly what I needed to hear. I was so happy someone said it to me. No one ever has really, at least not in those simple, straight, no-fuss words.
It really made me thinking. Sure it was focused on my attitude when thinking about running progress, but it applies to all aspects of my life. I am super hard on myself all the time. I put pressure and expectations on myself that are only coming from my own thoughts. If anyone else was saying these things to me I would tell them to ‘f*** off’, but I let myself treat myself this way. I’ve decided to focus on this and shift things to take the pressure off and that includes how I talk to myself inside my head.
There have been lots of good things happening and that is what I am going to focus on today!
New Job – I’ll be starting anew job at the beginning of November. I spent pretty much the whole of September in interview mode and it was exhausting. I had three interviews in three weeks and learnt a lot; so that by the time I got offered the job I really wanted I had some great practice. Now it is all about tidying up and finishing off my current work and leaving it in a great place for whoever takes my place.
Holidays – I’ve booked three holidays in the last few weeks. Firstly I’ve booked a skiing trip to Austria as celebration of my new job. A trip to Japan with my mum later next year, which will be the first big trip I’ve done in a while. Thirdly I’ve booked a walking trip around Mt Blanc for 2017! I’m so excited by these as they have been on my list for so long and I cannot wait. It also gives me something to look forward to over the next couple of years and to get fit for.
Swimming and Running – These are the things I’ve been struggling with a little bit, running especially. I feel like I’m starting again with both as I’ve hurt my shoulder during my big swim and running just plain hurts. This is where I really need to go easy on myself and do it because I enjoy it rather than force myself to because I think I should. So I’m changing my approach and taking the pressure off.
TV Obsessions – I’ve been watching The X-Files from the beginning and I love it. I can’t believe how creepy some of the episodes are and I remember watching them late at night when I was in secondary school! Also Doctor Who has started again on TV and I love it. I am such a binge watcher of TV shows. I’m so impatient when it comes to having to wait for the next episode nowadays. I used to re-watch episodes of Buffy and Angel until the next episode aired, but now I just find something else to get hooked on!
Back to the books – I treated myself to some new books this month as I miss the feel of a good book and also going to a bookshop to buy them. So I also did that – actually went and wandered around a bookshop having a good browse before buying anything. I wish there was a bigger bookshop near me though so I could disappear into the stacks and spend a whole day there if I wanted.
Kitty Cats – my cats have been living it up with some sunny weather in the garden and also catching all the spiders that try to come into the house. I’m also enjoying that they are becoming a bit more affectionate and Pippin now walks across my lap. Neither of them will sit on my lap without being held there, but I’ll train them to love it. I’m starting to look what I can get them for Christmas. I want something they can play with when I’m not there, but that won’t get pulled apart and then lost when I’m not there. I’m still looking for ping pong ball that they have made disappear!
Other Upcoming Excitements:
- Visiting friends in Cardiff
- Harry Potter Halloween
- Brussels for the Christmas market
Overall life is great and focusing on what makes me happy and brings me joy is the way forward. We all have to deal with the crap times, but it’s how we overcome those times and our thoughts about them that matter. A lot of my negative thinking is learned and I was to teach myself new, better ways to think about things. I realised at the weekend when catching up with my parents that several things that I used to do and think do not sit right with me anymore and that is okay. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks as it’s none of my business, but it does matter what I think about myself.