What a journey! It’s had highs and lows, but every step has been toward this place; the place where you feel happy in yourself and love and take care of yourself as you deserve. That is not to say the journey is over. I hope you continue to find yourself and make changes to become even more who you want to be. There are many more adventures to be had in this life and I want us to enjoy every single one.
It has been hard, but I think it will worth it, even if I can’t see it yet. It’s easy to think there have been more lows than highs, but that is my current blinded vision of life. The lows overshadow the highs, but that’s not to say I haven’t learnt from them. It’s about remembering and learning from the past, but not dwelling upon it. Living in the present is where you have come to. Enjoying each moment for what it is and moving forward.
You don’t ever want to come back to where I am. It’s not a nice place to be. The self-doubt and depression is consuming. Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in despair. Remembering these feelings and thoughts allows me to be aware of them and stop them before they overwhelm me. Learning that is it okay to feel and show emotion is a hard lesson, but I hope you’ve found someone who lets you be how you are and loves you for you.
I got this idea from Ashley over at Coffee, Cake and Cardio and thought I should try it out. She talks about remembering the past and all I could think of was this quote – you can’t start the next chapter of your life is you keep re-reading the last one. I think this is true, but then I also think Ashley had a good point at remembering the reasons why you wanted to become you who you have become.
Remember the shame you felt for your body when clothes wouldn’t fit. Remember the feeling of despair and fear when working through depression. Remember how people, those you knew and those you didn’t, made you feel for being overweight. Remember the shame, fear and anger you felt at that nurse for humiliating you into to tears. Remember the arguments with your parents over meals and clothes and being too ashamed to eat in front of people. Remember the sadness at binging to cover the hurt. Remember, but don’t dwell. Use these examples to strengthen you. You can do anything.
Also remember the amazing happiness you felt when completing your first 5km run; 5 mile running club run; 3km open water; first triathlon. Remember the medals that hang in your house as a reminder of all you have achieved. Remember the feeling of fitting into the amazing dress from coast and feeling beautiful. Remember the joy in those peaceful moments enjoying a good book or cup of coffee.
Life will always have its ups and downs, but let everything you have been through to get to where you are be the strength you need to keep going. There are many more things I’m sure you want to try and achieve and that is the real us that never left. Anything you’ve changed has been to be at peace within yourself in order to say “why not?” to those who doubt us.
Source Inspiration for this post from Coffee, Cake and Cardio