Determined but not Motivated

It’s been a weird few weeks. I’ve been looking at moving jobs purely because of the commute I’m doing. If I could pick up the job and put in Swindon I would stay and follow through with where it’s going. However I’ve come to realise that I have to look after myself and that includes my mental health and therefore recognising what causes me stress and taking steps to remove those triggers is important.

Also I’m not going to lie, I’m stressed about money. Buying and maintaining a house is pricey, but I know it’ll be worth it and once I stop commuting I’ll save a lot of money on fuel.

I’ve been a bit all-or-nothing with food and fitness during this time too. I’ve been eating because of emotions more than anything. I celebrate with cake then I comfort myself with biscuits. I haven’t had a proper dinner in a while. Even with meal planning and preparing food in advance. I get home and I cannot be bothered. My running is frustrating because of my knee pain, which I got looked at yesterday (more costs) and hopefully will improve.

But my motivation is gone. I’m determined, but not motivated.

I know the me I want to become. I know the work that needs to go into it and I’m not giving up. But I can’t get started to push myself a bit further.

I’ve even let my blog take a back seat and that is something I enjoy doing.

How do I get myself out of this funk?

I don’t have the answer at the moment, but I’m working on working it out. Maybe I just need to force myself to do all the exercise. Force myself into the routine and then maybe it’ll make me motivated. Maybe I just need to see some results. In the end it comes down to making the change I want to make and sticking with it.

Just some random thoughts I needed to get out on a Friday night.

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