Yesterday I had a check up about my depression with my doctor and it went really well.
I feel so much better and knowing that I make progress every couple of months is great. I no longer feel nervous about going in. I know I have been working hard in a variety of ways and feel better for it. I also know it is okay to admit when things weren’t great.
I was honest about how overwhelmed I felt in July. I then talked about the last 3-4 weeks and how much better I have felt. Exercise is important for me. Sleep is also extremely important to me as it can affect everything! But mainly in the last few weeks how my eating has improved.
I asked him not to take my blood pressure as I had just come from a job interview and knew it would be high and I was feeling stressed and anxious but was coping with it. He agreed and made a note to take it next time. He did get me to get on the scales. The doctor’s scales are different from my home ones, but since I last got weighed there are the end of June I have lost about 6kg he said. Almost a stone in weight! I was surprised and happy. It was like proof that what I was saying was true. I know I shouldn’t need that, but with depression it’s hard to feel I am making progress as I am with myself everyday. I am not recording this as a weight personally, but am happy to know it’s on my file.
I still struggle with sleeping. Mainly getting off to sleep. I can spend anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours trying to get to sleep. I’ve been on a different medication since returning from my trip and it’s helping as I am definitely sleeping through the night better than I was. I can tell this from my Ki Fit data. I was averaging 65% sleep efficiency a night when I first got it, now I am up to 75% to 85%, which is a great improvement. My doctor has upped my dose slightly to help getting to sleep, but I have to see him again in a month to make sure it is working as it should.
I am okay with still being on medication as I know it is helping. I don’t want to be on it forever, but I don’t want to come off of it before I’m ready. I like that the medication I am on is specifically designed to help with sleep problems and anxiety, these are the areas I feel I need to work on and am happy to have help with these areas.
Depression sucks, but I finally feel I’m working my way towards the daylight at the end of the tunnel 🙂