Take 15

It took me a while to get into Take 15 after doing Take 10, but once I made the effort to wake up 15 minutes earlier each day and do it then it has made such a different.

Even after a few days I noticed how relaxed I felt going into work. This makes such a change from dreading boredom and anxiety that seemed constant. It also started staying with me through the day the more I did it every day. I struggled with taking time out on the weekend to do this, which is something I will work on with Take 20.

The premise of Take 15 is to build on Take 10 by adding 5 minutes but also to think about why you are doing it a bit. The benefits to you and other people. I didn’t get this to begin with. It wasn’t until I started noticing the calm that stayed with me through the day that I realised I was also calmer with people. I wasn’t jumping to the wrong conclusions and my anxiety didn’t spike right away. Don’t get me wrong, the anxiety and boredom is still there, but I have felt better and been more productive.  Also you start with your eyes open, which was weird, but started to feel more natural towards the end of the series.

I like starting the day with just checking in to see how I feel. Part of the series was to check in during the day and I would like to do this. The Headspace app allows you to set reminders for random times in the day to stop and do a few breaths and notice how I feel. This is the hardest part. I know I get stressed during the day at work and want to avoid those feelings. I know this will probably help a great deal, but allowing myself to feel while in an environment where I feel vulnerable is a challenge. I am thinking I need to take a mini break mid morning and mid afternoon and get out of the office for 5 minutes.

I am struggling with what people think of me at the moment. I want to be liked, but I want to be liked for me – flaws and all. But I don’t want to alienate people through the decisions I make. Taking mini breaks to go outside feels a bit like that in the office. People notice and think there is something wrong, which is nice, but annoying too. It sometimes feels like you have to be chained to your desk. The environment stresses me out, which is why I am working to leave it, but I also have to cope with the now. I know doing the Headspace series have been working as I come into the office calmer, but staying calm is another story and the next area for me to work on.

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