Double post day as I really needed to get this out!

I have done nothing to to lose weight since I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago. Or at least it feels that way. I have eaten rubbishy for the last few days and have not exercised much during this last week as work and others things have gotten in the way. Basically I’ve been a bit overwhelmed with everything that I lose focus on what I want and focus on what I don’t want.

I weighed in Friday at 229.2lbs, so I have lost 1.2lbs, which is in the right direction.

I also know I have been trying to Eat at a Table and Schedule My Meals, so I haven’t really not been doing anything. It is my all or nothing thinking kicking into gear. I do know I have not been tracking my food. This is a really danger area for me. I hate feeling i have to do it, but I know it is one of the few things that does work for me. However tracking online, does not work for me. I don’t see it when I track online. I need to write it down as and when  I eat and look back at it the next time I eat. It also shows me blanks where I forget. This for me is more honest (and harsh) for me.

So I’m adding another guideline to lifestyle – Write Everything DownI am going to keep using my Ki Fit tracker online as this gives me the calories. I am going to use it to do the sums for me, but each evening review and write in my journal. I am also going to write thoughts and feelings down at the same time to work to make myself more aware of why I eat. Just to recap my guidelines:

• Eat at a Table
• Schedule Meal Times
• Eat 1800 Calories a Day or have a 1000 Calorie Deficit
• Write Everything Down

It feels weird to be writing my own lifestyle, but I’m the one who knows me best. I also like how none of my guidelines dictate what I actually eat!

July has been and will continue to be a stressful month for me. I am doing lots of things I do not have choice or control over and I know I am struggling with this. I feel overwhelmed. I feel I have no time. Even though my swims have been cancelled I feel I have had no break. I am looking forward to the last weekend in July to be able to stop for a day.

I hate this feeling of waiting. I feel like I am constantly waiting, but I know I can do things now to be myself and to start changing areas I want to develop. I want to live the life I dream of, not wait for the right time to start!