I want to lose weight to feel better about myself – whether that is looking good in clothes or fitting in a chair!

I have to lose weight to be healthy!

I’ve been in denial about my weight for a while and now it is time to come clean and own up and take responsibility for it.

I do not want to blame myself though. That leads to beating myself up and then binge eating to comfort myself and therefore not actually taking care of myself!

I want to accept I am the weight I am and that I got myself here, but that I can also do something about it in a sensible and life long way.

A few things recently have lead to this post:

• High blood pressure at the doctors
• Feeling squished in a seat at a restaurant while in the Lakes
• Shoulder issue starting to return
• Ankle issue when running

There are some other things too, but I’ve got to keep a few things to myself

So I am here. It’s a Monday – for some reason this is a good day for me to make changes. I suppose it gives lots of days before the weekend, where I tend to be tempted – I wrote weak, but I know I am not!

I’ve got my exercise down. With all the swimming I actually do and now the running I’m starting, I am good on this. I also know that exercise is therapeutic for me. It helps clean my mind or distract myself. It helps me work out stress. It helps me feel good about myself!

Eating on the other hand is all out of whack!

So I am going to concentrate on this side of things. I am not going back to Weightwatchers or joining a slimming club. I want to do this for me, my way. I want to develop a life long plan that will allow me to lose weight, have enough energy to do all my exercise and not feel like I’m on a diet.

If I’m honest I’m not sure how I am going to go about this yet, but know I need to do something. I need to take what I have learnt from all my trials and errors, reading, previous diets and exercise and mould it into an eating lifestyle I can sustain.

Unfortunately I am the type of person who likes rules or guidelines. I think that is what people like about diets – you don’t have to think for yourself! And in today’s busy lives that is something people need. However I need to think for myself and develop a lifestyle that is not one size fits all.

I am currently taking a Mindfulness course through my local psychology service and really feel like this is the way to go. I need to slow things down that relate to food.

So first up SCHEDULE MEAL TIMES in my diary – maybe not permanently, but for the next few weeks at least – 30 minutes.

Secondly EAT AT A TABLE – not at my desk or in from of the TV/Laptop at home!

I know these don’t actually relate to what I am eating, but in a way they do. When I don’t notice what I am eating or when I binge I am normally in front of the TV. Therefore changing my habits to eat at meal times and away from distractions will hopefully help with what I eat. I also plan on incorporating some of the mindfulness techniques into these times.

I am not going to make lots of changes at once. I am going to work on changing habits at the moment and see where I get to. Then I will look at what areas I struggle with from there and work on guidelines to help.

I’m still going to track my food using my Ki Fit as that has become a habit already