I have been thinking a lot recently of why I am doing certain things and why I am not doing other things. I am also thinking what I want to get from things.
I am in denial about certain things I am doing and not doing.
I’m not sure where this post is going so bear with me 🙂
- I want to get fitter
- I want to be a better swimmer
- I want to eat a balanced diet
- I want to swim a 10k
- I want to lose weight
- I want to enjoy clothes shopping again
- I want to travel
- I don’t want to cut out any food groups
- I don’t want to do any exercise I don’t enjoy
- I don’t want to be fat
- I don’t want to be a slave to food
- I don’t want to be depressed
There are lots of things I want and don’t want. The thing I am missing is how!
Wearing my Ki Fit does not mean I will lose weight. Wearing the Ki Fit means I can understand my how my body works. Wearing the Ki Fit can help me lose weight, but it will not make me lose weight on its own.
I want to be a better swimmer. In terms of endurance and speed. I have upped the amount of swimming I am doing and that is working. But my diet plays a big part in getting even better. My weight slows me down. My weigh puts necessary pressure on my body when swimming, but also in everyday life.
I keep blaming food. But I make the decision to eat what I eat. No one is force feeding me. I am still using food to block emotions I don’t want to feel. Sometimes consciously, but sometimes unconsciously. This is where I need to focus and make changes. I need to plan foods into my life I love and enjoy. Healthy versions of comfort foods I can turn to when it gets too much. Also I need things I can do when I need a distraction. Walking was always my main go to option when studying. I think I need to try this again, especially in the evenings.
The last few nights I have really enjoyed my wind down. I have gotten into bed relaxed for 10 minutes with Headspace then read my book until I wanted to sleep. I want to get the technology out of my bedtime routine. I can’t get my computer out of my room, as that is where I study and store everything, but I can get it out of that part of my life. I want to reduce the amount of TV I watch in bed, specifically at bedtime.
I am being proactive with my study commitment. I now always have something to do. Even if it is only reading back through the modules I have completed.
I need to focus on losing weight. It is not going to disappear on its own. I need to make sure I watch the calories I burn and the calories I consume to ensure I am balancing everything. and having a consistent calorie deficit, rather than the ups and downs I seem to have. I can do this by wearing my watch and logging my food regularly – even at work!
This post has been about getting my thoughts in order. I have goals I just need to make them SMART goals. I have just shown myself I can think through each thing and break them down. Now I need to do this for my specific goals. This will be another post I think. I need to sit down and think them through first.
Basically it is up to me. It is my life. I can chose to lead it anyway I like.