Alone But Not Lonely

Going abroad to work is one thing, but having a 2 month holiday is quite another it seems. spending 2 months on my own seems to be unbelievable for some people, not everyone I knight add. Being alone does not make me anxious at all. I am rather calm about the whole thing. I think that is because I can basically talk to anyone. I love wandering the shops and talking the the shop assistants about the local area. I live talking to my hostel roommates each evening. But I like having the choice of whether to make the effort or not.

I like being on my own, but that doesn’t mean I’m lonely.

The aim of this trip for me is to relax and enjoy myself. It is also a time to try and sort my head out a bit. Not in a way to organise anything, but to listen and understand myself better. To do that I need to cut out all influence and concentrate on myself.

It funny how we are all so different. I want to meet someone I want to spend all my time with, but I’m in no rush. I got asked out yesterday randomly in a coffee shop and said no. He seemed nice, but you what I’m not ready to give up my time yet. Plus as one of the first things he did was offered for me to stay at his sisters house for my trip he came on a bit strong haha!

The first week of my trip has been a distraction. I have spent all my time on the go and my feet can confirm it. I’ve enjoyed it and now feel I can slow down a bit and enjoy heading up to whistler and enjoy the snow. Then I’ll have Seattle to be on the go and finally a week in Vancouver to rest and relax before heading home. It will go so quickly and I intend to make the most of it.

I also need some me time to sort my priorities out. I feel uncomfortable in my skin at the moment aside put on a lot of weight in the last year. I need to figure out how I want to deal with and what I want to do about it. I want to create a lifestyle I can sustain and enjoy and that will take time. I want to make some changes and I need to figure the best way to do so.

Being alone right now is good for me. It is forcing me to consider myself and out myself out there. I was getting complacent and not putting any effort in back home. Already I am making the effort with simple things like choosing what to wear out of my limited clothes and putting makeup on everyday. These 2 things make me feel better about myself and get me ready to enjoy my day, weird, but it’s true.

I now need to work on my food and fitness as well as thinking about where I want to head in my life. I’ll break it down by looking at the next month, then 6 months then year then 5 years. I need a focus so I can feel like I am working towards something. So my everyday decisions mean something more to me than I think.

Wow some deep thought going on while I wrote this. I feel good. Life. It’s a funny thing. Overall I want to make the most of it!

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