Following on from last week’s Adventures in Books post I had a rubbish week with regards to food and feelings.
I’ve reflected on the last week a lot today. I’ve made a lot of notes in the notebook I carry around with me. I needed to get a lot out and I hadn’t realised. Something upset me last week, but I didn’t pick up on it until today. I distracted myself with food and stopped tuning in., but I knew that I was doing it.
Because of this I have decided to move forward onto the next principle of Beyond Chocolate. I feel I have concentrated on tuning into myself generally since I started getting help for depression. Now I want to focus on something:
Eat When You Are Hungry
This scares me. How do I know when I’m hungry? What if I’m always hungry? All these thoughts pop into my head and try to convince me to stay away from this. But the logical part of me shouts out – shouldn’t this be happening already? How did I stop eating only when I was hungry? Why don’t I trust myself to eat when I’m hungry?
I can’t answer these yet, but I want to be able to in the future. The book gives a great explanation (not the right word) around this subject.
“the reality is that we are so out of touch with our bodies that many of us no longer know how to read the cues”
This is very true. I don’t really know what hungry feels like, but I am afraid of it.
“it rarely occurs to us to question [external cues], to ask ourselves Am I Hungry?”
So this is where I’m starting. Asking myself a simple question many times a day. Am I hungry? and go from there.
I started this today but no having breakfast as soon as I got up. I felt confused. I worried I wouldn’t get hungry. I worried I would get hungry when it was not possible to eat. Then 2 hours later I felt weird. That is the only way to describe it. It was like thirst, but a drink of water didn’t make it go away. I then had breakfast and felt better.
I struggled at 11am. I ended up having a conversation with myself in my notebook. I used my counsellor voice in my head and asked questions as she would. No judgement, just exploring what I’m thinking. It was interesting and something I’m sure I’ll do again as I found it useful.
I sat down tonight and re- read the chapters the book that relate to this. It is broken down into 2 sections – figuring out when you are hungry and then figuring out why you want to eat when you’re not hungry. It all comes down to tuning in to what is going on inside.
I am going to focus on tuning in to:
- Physical sensations
- Emotional connections
- Current thoughts
I am also going to pause before eating. They suggest 60 seconds in order to tune in and consciously making the decision to eat.
I am not trying to to be perfect with this. It is not a diet I have to follow to the tee in order to succeed. This is about changing habits I have developed over a lifetime.
I want to end on a quote that I read over and over when I first read the entire books. It completely relates to why I started this blog in the first place, although I was focusing on travel and this focused on chugging my relationship with food, it still links together and is part of what makes me, me:
“Be curious about yourself. Be open to what you discover.”