The strap-line for this book is “how to stop spending time you don’t have doing things you don’t want to do with people you don’t like” and it tells you exactly how to do that. Well not exactly, but it gives you the prompts to think about your life and come up with the things you’re willing to give a fuck about and the things you are not. It’s the things I am not willing to give a fuck about that are the ones I need to focus on as they suck up my time and energy and do not bring joy to my life. I’ve seen a few blog posts about fuck budgets this year and it’s taken me a while to nail mine since I devoured the book just before New Year. It has resonated with many people and I think that is great and encourage everyone to think about their own budgets.
Sarah Knight encourages you to think about your budget in terms of Things, Work, Friends and Family – in that order. It is similar set to the tidying up book by Marie Kondo, which I used to help me declutter my house last month. So it made logical sense to do this to declutter my mind.
My Fuck Budget for the rest of 2017:
More fucks – spending money on things that bring me joy. Doing things, see things, and experiences things are important to me and spending money on these things is never wasted money. Travel and exploration is important to understand the world and something I want to continue to do for as long as possible.
Less fucks – stressing about saving as much as I can. I have set up an emergency fund and my pension is automatic so things are good. Savings for holidays is easier when you know it’s what you want to do. Stressing about having enough money for every single thing that could happen is no way to live as it will never be enough. Time to stop worrying about this.
More fucks – what I already have. I have a wonderful life and have a lot of great things in it, sometimes its easy to always be wanting more in the age of social media. I want to enjoy the things I already have rather than covet things others have or seem to have.
Less fucks – comparing myself to others. This is the thief of joy and one I am prone to more than I would like. I am going to try hard to not do this whether it is in real life, on social media, or at work.
More fucks – gaining experience. Focusing on progression can be frustrating and so shifting that focus to look at all the experience I am gaining through the day to day work I do will make progression visible in small steps. Looking at the experiences I get on a daily/weekly/monthly basis will be much more fulfilling and in time will lead to the progression I seek.
Less fucks – taking time off. I need to stop feeling guilty if I get sick or just taking holiday. There will always be work to do, but it won’t be as enjoyable, fun or fulfilling if I don’t take the breaks I need. I work for a flexible organisation that means I can take time for appointments without taking holiday, but that does mean in return I often work longer hours than required. It’s all about balance and everyone deserves proper breaks.
More fucks – professional connections. People are key to having a great workplace and enjoying the work I do. I want to put more effort into making connections with the people I work with, both on the professional level, but also where possible to create lasting friendships for the future.
Less fucks – money. I work for a charity and therefore the wages aren’t as high as doing the same job in other sectors, but I love the organisation I work for and money is not the main driver for doing what I do. Comparing myself or what I earn against others is not helpful.
More fucks – having meaningful connections with my few good friends more often. I don’t need a lot of friends and the ones I have are wonderful, but I know I don’t always stay connected with them so I want to improve on that. This also means I need to put myself out there a bit more and invite others to join me in things I want to do, rather than wait to be invited all the time.
Less fucks – being the token single friend. All my friends are married or getting married and there have been times I’ve let that get to me. I don’t want to stress about this and making comparisons is not a fun way to live. Everyone is making their own lives to be full and meaningful and that does not make mine any less so, so stop worrying about it.
More fucks – self love and respect. I love my friends and in order to really appreciate them I need to spend time loving and respecting myself so that I can do the same for them and ask for it in return. The times my energy is low is also the times I struggle with self-esteem and start comparing and resenting people so putting myself first is really important.
Less fucks – saying no. I so often feel guilty for saying no to doing things with my friends, but I always have my own reason for doing so. Whether it is because I don’t enjoy the things suggested, it’s not in my budget, or I’m not feeling up to it mentally, they are all valid reasons and I don’t need to feel guilty about saying no.
More fucks – quality time. This is similar to the one about my friends as I would much prefer to spend quality time with members of my family, rather than attend multiple events with too many people there. I want to enjoy the time I spend with them and have real connections, not just shallow ones because we are family. I need to make this clear and not allow myself to be guilted into just being there.
Less fucks – fitting in. I have felt a change over the last year or so to one where I don’t really fit in with my family anymore and that’s okay. I just want to be me and if that means people don’t like it I’ll change the time I spend with them. It relates to the one above as I want to spend quality time with the people who accept me for me.
More fucks – being myself. This again relates to the one above as in therapy I’ve been working through some stuff on feeling like I have to wear different masks to fit in. This has to stop and I want to focus on being myself and not worrying about what others think of that. I want to share the things I enjoy and if others find it weird or silly, so what, I’m happy being me.
Less fucks – keeping everyone happy. Again this connects to all the other family ones. I worry too much about keeping others happy, when really I need to focus on myself as above. So I’m going to stop this and without going out of my way to hurt others, will stop worrying how others react to my decisions or actions. I can only control how I behave, not other people and it is not up to me to please everyone.
Wow that is a therapeutic process to go through. It really makes you think about what is taking up you time physically and mentally. I’m going to print this out and pin it to my fridge and above my desk as a reminder of what I am willing to spend my fucks on.