3 Month Plan Week 9

Posted on 05/20/2013 by Angie

I missed my update last week, as I wanted to share my triathlon with you, of course breaking my toe.

The last week wasn’t great. I used food to distract from thoughts I didn’t want to deal with. I think the thoughts came about as I wasn’t busy being off work, and therefore had time to think. I only had one day where I ate more than I burned, but my overall calorie deficit is down. My weight also went up when I weighed in on Friday. I did sleep better with an average efficiency of 71%. Not my best, but better than the mid 60% I was getting the last couple of weeks.

Activity was way down, which is not surprising as I spent three days on the sofa and another few days on crutches and didn’t do any activity until swimming at the weekend.

It’s frustrating. I thought I had moved on from the thoughts of last year, in terms of not knowing what I’m doing or where I am going with life, asking why I can’t just be happy, but this last week they have returned. The self doubt and fear is horrible. I think it’s because I’ve had too much time to think. I’ve also been on my own a lot. Maybe it’s because I broke my toe and it knocked me off my plan. But it sucks. I turned to food as it’s the only thing I know how to do. I wrote lists of things to do when the urge to binge surfaces, but I haven’t yet got the switch to make me stop and think. I just want the feelings and thoughts to go away. I’m glad I go back to CBT this week as I’ve missed it and want to move on to the next step and dealing with things I’m not dealing with on my own. It’s going to be hard, but I know it will be good for me and help me.

I spend so much time beating myself up that is it no wonder I won’t let anyone else in. I hurt myself more than enough and know I couldn’t take it if someone else did it as well. But then I have and I’ve survived the last year. Resilience is often I word I hear form people who know me and my character. But I associate that with struggle and I want to be over that for now. I want to be content and happy with who I am and what I have. I want to like the person I am so others will in turn and I can let people in.

Too many thoughts this last week that I’m not processing well. I now live in my own home and want to be comfortable, yet I still stop myself crying when I’m sad. I talk harshly to myself, when it is the opportunity to show myself love and compassion. I could talk to myself and not feel stupid, yet I don’t, but I want to. I want to be the me inside my head on the outside, but I have spent so long telling that part of me to be quiet, for various reasons, and now she stays silent. I won’t even let myself be me when I’m on my own, how will I let myself be me with people. I don’t like feeling like two different people.

I want to end on a positive note as this last week has been hard, but I need to remind myself of the good things that have happened and that I’m grateful for:

I completed a triathlon!
People helped me out with no hesitation
I can swim and bike with a broken toe
I caught up on some favourite tv shows
I love my house
I have a job in the field I studied

There are more than these, but that will do for here. Stay positive everyone

Adventures in Coffee… Costa Spiced Passionata

Posted on 05/19/2013 by Angie

Just found these photos form my trip to Porto, where one day we found a Costa. The coffee was really good in Porto, but it was always in espresso form and unfortunately there are times it is just needed to have a large coffee. So we were extremely happy to find this place.

I made sure I tried something that wasn’t available at home – Spiced Passionata – a flat white coffee spiced with cinnamon and chilli. A really nice warming drink, but also refreshing. I love a proper flat white and this took it to new level.

It must have been a new shop as it was so quiet when we went in, then the next day it was super busy!

It had the same things as the ones in the UK, but also some different things. Plus they served beer! My twitter friend Ellie found out that that there are ones in London that do this, and they are known as platinum stores.

It was located in a lovely place near the amazing book shop.

See beer!

I also tried the cherry and white chocolate cake. This was really light, which was a nice surprise I love trying new places, but then it is nice to find something slightly familiar as a break to relax and reflect.

Adventures in Audiobooks… City of Ashes

Posted on 05/17/2013 by Angie

“With her mother in a coma and her father hell-bent on destroying the world, Clary is dragged deeper into New York’s terrifying underworld of werewolves, demons and the mysterious Shadowhunters. Discovering the truth about her past was only the beginning, now Clary must save the world from her own father – the rogue Shadowhunter Valentine. With two of the Mortal Instruments at his command, Valentine is assembling an army of demons to wage war on the council of Shadowhunters and destroy them once and for all. As the battle begins, Clary must face her darkest fears – and come to terms with her feelings for a boy she wishes wasn’t her brother.”

This is the second book in the Mortal Instruments series and it’s great! I loved the first one and was really happy to get the second one from my library on CD so soon after.

The story carried on where it left off from book one so I don’t want to give too much away. I can say the characters develop further and you get to know them all bit more. Also new characters are introduced, which open the world further as well as going to new places. More of the history before the books is revealed as well, which helped me make sense of the current story a bit more.

The only thing that I feel uneasy about is the feelings Clary and Jace have for each, when they are brother and sister. It is hinted at there might be more to them than meets the eye, so I am intrigued rather than creeped out. There is definitely more to come.

I now really want to read book three and the books after, but I made myself not buy any more books until I’ve read the ones I’ve got already and I also wanted to read more classics, so I am trying to hold out until I can either get it from the library or from Audible.

I haven’t felt like this about a series for a while and I love it!

WW Week Two

Posted on 05/16/2013 by Angie

What a week!

I completed my first triathlon and broke a tow doing it!

I admit it threw me off track from Sunday to Wednesday. A combination of celebrating, being immobile and feel in sorry for myself, meant I didn’t track as I went a long.

Unofficially I weighed in yesterday with a loss of 0.3lbs. It is in the right direction and I know I need to focus on my food more now as I haven’t got the vigorous exercise to fall back on for the few weeks. I now have to look hard at the foods I’m eating and concentrate on sticking to my points allowance. All my stats are down for the week as the second half of the week was immobile, but I am happy with my calorie burn and consumed stats

It’s definitely been a week of highs and lows.

I’ve learned I hate being stuck on the sofa – which totally contradicts the thoughts I have while at work all week

I’ve also learned I’m mentally stronger than I thought. I got through a triathlon with a broken toe!

The last few days have been hard, but I’m moving forward and focusing on healing and improving.

Plans for this week:

get walking on my toe
count and track all my food
go swimming
enjoy some movies and tv when resting my toe
tidy and clean house
cycle if I can

Enjoy the week everyone

My First Triathlon

Posted on 05/12/2013 by Angie

Well on Sunday I completed my first triathlon! And have the fractured toe to prove it

My mum came along as photographer for the morning. It was nice and sunny from 6am (it rained in the afternoon) which made it nice to do the set up. I got ready and laid out everything i needed in the transition area. I was going into it with the aim of finishing, no matter what the time.

The lake temperature was about 13 degrees Celsius. I got in 5 minutes before my wave to get the initial shock of the cold out the way. I’m glad I did as it was cold and lots of people in the earlier waves had had to do breaststroke.

We started off with feet in the water. I went to the front, but I went off too fast and got to the first buoy and needed to breathe, so had to do breaststroke. I thought I had gotten used to the temperature, but it was a longer enough swim for me to warm my lungs up properly, so as I got out of breathe my lungs couldn’t expand further because of the cold. That’s the only part I was disappointed in, but I knew it was longer enough for my swimming style.

I got out of the lake well, but then fell over (I think this is where I fractured my toe) but got up and ran to transition. It was great having lots of people from my running club there marshalling. This is where I found it hard to breathe and get my breath back and steady. It took me 2 minutes in transition. On the way out of transition my friend Linz was there to cheer me on, which was great. The hardest part was running with the bike and being so cold. I kept going and although lots of people ran past, I kept going.

The bike was the hardest part for me. I got overtaken by lost of people early on and it just felt long. It took me 54 minutes, which is under the hour I thought it would take. On the way round I thought my toe was numb form the cold, or my trainer was too tight, I never imagined I had hurt it quite so bad. But I finally finished the 20km and came back into transition to see my mum waiting.

It was so nice to have lots of friendly faces there who would shout my name as I went past. It spurred me on.

I got back into transition and was out again in 40 seconds to run one 2.5km lap around the lake. This was hard and I was so glad I was only doing the one lap as mentally I don’t think I could have gone round again. There was a water station with2 running club members there and they cheered me on as I went past. I finished to about 10 people from running club there at the end and my mum taking pictures. I was so happy to have finished and have run the whole lap without stopping, which was my aim.

They had run out of medal, but I didn’t mind, I was so happy to have finished! My running club captain is the one who organised it, so I’ll get one to add to my display soon

It wasn’t until the above moment when I stopped and was calming down and realised I’d done it, when my toe started to hurt. I thought I had just bruised it so carried on and packed up my things and drove home. I then went to the cinema to relax and watch Iron Man 3 (excellent) and then came home to find the bruise was coming up. By the evening my tow was swelling up and getting harder to walk on. It wasn’t until the morning when I thought something was wrong, so off to A&E I went and came back with crutches and a fractured toe. It could take 4-6 weeks to heal properly, but I’m hoping sooner rather than later!

Update! Got my medal today

Wandering Angie

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost

3 Month Plan Week 9

Adventures in Coffee… Costa Spiced Passionata

Adventures in Audiobooks… City of Ashes

WW Week Two

My First Triathlon